Leaving the hospital

Leaving the hospital after you have had a baby is not an ordinary homecoming. You have been through a special experience that has made unusual demands on you, physically and emotionally. Now the baby is safely here, but with considerable final effort on your part.

Since the baby's birth, you have been a center of concern and attention. Other people have watched over you, cared for you, and made decisions for you. Soon you are going to be on your own again, looking after your family and gradually resuming your normal social activities. With a difference! There is another person in your family now, someone who is going to need a great deal of attention for some time. It will take a little while for you to settle down to the changes in your routines. It will also take a while for you to feel like your old self again. This will be true whether your baby was born in a hospital or at home.

Your first days at home will be easier if you plan for them as carefully as you planned for your pregnancy and confinement. At the time you enter the hospital, no one can tell you exactly when you will be leaving. For this reason, don't plan to be out on a certain day. When it is time for you to go home, your doctor will notify the hospital and sign the order for your discharge.

The usual hospital checkout time is between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. A hospital discharge takes a little while and whoever comes for you should be free to wait, perhaps as much as an hour, while you are going through the formalities.

On the day before you leave, have someone bring you the clothes you want to wear home and the things you packed earlier for the baby. Choose a dress or suit that has been a little big for you. You may not be able to wear all of your regular clothes right away because your measurements are apt to be larger than they were before you became pregnant. It is a good idea to wait until after the baby's last feeding to put on your street clothes.

You will probably have some business papers—such as insurance policies and form letters to employers—which need to be signed by the hospital authorities. Ask the nurse, a nurses' aid, or a messenger to take them to the proper office for signature. Do this well in advance of your departure, so that you will not be waiting impatiently at the last minute for the documents to come back. The valuables you put in the hospital safe will be returned to you when you pay your bill.

If your baby is on a bottle, the hospital may send a 24-hour supply of the formula home with you with directions for preparing and using it. Some hospitals ask you to provide the bottles for this. If you have prescriptions, you may be able to have these filled at the hospital pharmacy. This is easier than having to send to the drugstore after you get home.

Before you leave, the nurse may go over with you the instructions you have been given for your own and the baby's care. Find out now when your baby should have his next checkup and where you are to take him for this. There will be other appointments for him, and it is very important for you to keep them if you possibly can. One of the best ways to keep well children well is to see that they have the periodic health examinations recommended for them. If you do not have a pediatrician, your family doctor may look after your baby himself or he may advise you to take him to a child health conference or well-baby clinic.

Help for you at home

It will mean a great deal to both you and your husband if someone comes in to help you when you first return from the hospital. You will be tired and may not feel like doing much about the house for several weeks.

Your doctor will advise you to rest in bed as much as you can for the first two weeks. He may suggest that you get up only three times a day at first, for an hour at a time. Gradually you can increase the time you are up until, toward the end of the second week, you are out of bed most of the day. On a schedule like this you can care for the baby, begin to do things for the other children, and still gain strength.

Some mothers have to take hold immediately, of course. Unless you must, it is better for you not to try to do housework for at least two weeks. Some fathers take over some household duties as a matter of course when their babies are born. This is a good example of husband-wife partnership. Other relatives and friends are often glad to help out. It will be a relief to know that you can depend on someone, if only to get the evening meal.

If you can have the services of a homemaker, a part-time maid, or a babysitter, by all means arrange for this assistance. You will be wise to take full advantage of any commercial services that are available to you, especially diaper services and laundromats. The more of the washing you can get done out of the house, the better. This goes for the cooking too. If you live near a good carryout restaurant, you may be able to save considerable time and energy by sending out for a main supper dish once or twice a week.

In some communities, young couples have formed clubs to help each other out at times like this. While a mother is in the hospital having her baby, other mothers in the group keep in touch with her family, substituting for her in emergencies. When she is ready to come home, someone sees that there is enough food in the refrigerator for the first two or three meals. After the new mother has been at home for a few days, someone calls to ask if she needs any shopping done. When she is strong enough to go out, mothers in the club take turns baby-sitting so that she and her husband may begin to do things together again. If you do not have such a group in your neighborhood, your church may be interested in helping you start one.

Planning with the family

It will be much easier for you to manage after you bring the baby home if the whole family pitches in to help. The best way to get this kind of cooperation is for you all to talk the situation over together before you go to the hospital. This gives everyone a chance to get the whole picture, see how he fits into it, and help work out a plan for getting things done that will meet all foreseeable needs.

There are no fixed rules for sharing family responsibilities. What the children can do will depend on their ages, skills, and temperaments. You and your husband have formed habits of working together in certain ways and it may not suit either of you to change these now. Two suggestions, however: Fathers cannot really get to know their babies unless they can spend some time with them and do some of the holding, comforting and feeding. Also, neither parent needs to be constantly exhausted from lack of sleep. If you and the baby's father take turns looking after him at night, the one who is "off duty" can learn to sleep through. To make up for sleep lost at night, if any, you may be able to take naps in the daytime while the baby sleeps.

Your postnatal care

Before you left the hospital, your doctor may have checked you over to make sure that your pelvic organs were returning to normal. About 6 to 8 weeks after your delivery, he may want to do a more complete internal examination to see if the uterus has gone back properly to its normal, nonpregnant position and size. This checkup is called a post partum examination. If you want advice about spacing your future pregnancies in any manner which is in accordance with your religious beliefs, this is the time to ask your physician for it.

It is very important for you to follow directions or suggestions your doctor gives you about your personal hygiene after delivery. Ask him when to use douches and tampons again. You may be uncomfortable if you do this too soon, because it takes about six weeks for the place where the placenta was attached to the uterus to heal. You will also have some discomfort, and run some risk of infection if you and your husband resume marital relations sooner than three weeks after the baby has been delivered. This is partly a personal matter but there are health factors involved. You and your husband may wish to discuss this question with your doctor.

Before you start driving your car or going up and down stairs as usual, it is advisable to check with your physician. In general, you can begin to do what you want to do as you feel equal to making the effort.

Backaches bother some mothers after childbirth. Plan your work so that you do not bend over any more than is absolutely necessary. Sit down as much as you can when you are taking care of the baby. When you can't sit, work at a counter or table of comfortable standing height. Sometimes it helps to wear a well-fitted corset for a while. Your doctor will suggest this if he thinks it is necessary.

Your doctor may want you to continue your exercises for several weeks. The ones you do now will be more vigorous than the ones you may have learned in the hospital. Find out just what exercises you are supposed to take and practice them faithfully. They are designed to recondition the parts of your body that were especially relaxed when your baby was born.

Take a shower or sponge bath every day at first and then a tub bath when you feel like it. You will normally perspire freely at this time. An underarm deodorant after your bath will make you feel fresher.

To keep your bowels moving properly, drink plenty of water, take a sensible amount of exercise, eat foods that tend to prevent constipation, and try to have your bowel movements at regular times. If you need a laxative, ask your doctor to prescribe one. The wrong one may affect your breast milk.

Even though you went to see him while you were pregnant, go to your dentist again six or eight weeks after your confinement.

Should you feel depressed after the baby comes, don't be surprised or discouraged. This is a very common reaction. Doctors call it the "baby blues." Sometimes it does not come right away. Fortunately the feeling is usually a passing one. If it should persist, you will want to discuss it with your doctor. It should disappear as your strength returns and you begin to do things that give you a new sense of purpose and enjoyment.

Caring for your baby

The mother of a new first baby often wants very much to take care of her own child but is persuaded to let someone else "more experienced" do this for her. If you want to care for your baby, do it, no matter how much you think you have to learn. No two babies are ever exactly alike and every mother has to find out how to apply what she has been taught to meet the needs of her own particular child. Reading may help. There are many excellent books and pamphlets on the market about babies. Your doctor, the visiting nurse, the nurse at the well-baby clinic, or your librarian can give you the names of several.

There are some things we can say here, however, that may give you more confidence in your own ability to look after your new baby. Whether he is being fed on a schedule or at his own demand, be consistently prompt with the feedings. After feeding him, put him gently back in his crib. Some babies can return a meal as easily as they took it in if they are jolted or jounced too much. Don't fuss over him and never wake him up just to show him off. Don't worry if he snorts and sometimes breathes noisily or irregularly in his sleep. Little babies normally make some very odd noises. They can also breathe so quietly that you sometimes wonder if they are breathing at all.

A little baby should not be startled unnecessarily. When you pick him up, move slowly, putting your hand under his back as you lift him so that his back, neck, and head are supported. Don't pick him up by his arms. These are not yet strong enough to bear the weight of his body.

Each time you put him down after feeding, bathing, or diapering, shift him a little. He can't turn over by himself and he gets tired if he lies too long in one position. It will be several weeks before he can hold up his own head and several months before he will be able to sit up by himself. It is good for a newborn baby to lie on his side but he needs support for this. A rolled-up blanket or several tightly folded diapers can be propped behind him.

Be sure he is comfortable but don't watch over him too closely. Babies get along surprisingly well when they are treated like regular people. As long as yours sleeps peacefully, eats contentedly, gains weight regularly, and has a skin that is warm, moist, and healthily pink, you do not need to be anxious about him.

Many mothers are afraid that they will not understand what their babies are trying to say when they cry. Your baby will soon have several different cries and you will learn to know what each one means. He will cry to let you know when he is hungry, when he is sleepy, when he is uncomfortable, when he is lonely, and when he is in pain. You will not "spoil" him if you give him what he is asking for. His wants at this age are needs—needs for food, for sleep, for comforting, for the reassurance he gets from close and loving contact with your body. Do not be afraid to satisfy these needs. He will soon learn to use his cry as a signal and wait for you to come to his aid. It is only later that he will begin to want things that may not be good for him. Then you will have to say "No."

Marcus Siegel

Copyrighted material; do not reprint without permission.

 

View all articles by Marcus Siegel