We hear a lot about body language in the media, when analysing celebrities and politicians, yet being able to interpret body language is a skill that only some of us possess. If you're within the group that can't read body language but would find it extremely useful whilst dating then read on...

So let's start with some simple ones for a first date, perhaps even a blind date. Try and sit somewhere where you can see your date's whole body, like a sofa or on the same side of a bar. If you like them (which I assume you do if you're reading into this) then you'll probably naturally want to cross your legs towards them. If they do the same then this is a good sign. When you feel comfortable enough try sitting in a position, or holding your hands in a position that's slightly unusual. For instance, ball up your fist and rest your head on it, or put your legs out straight in front of you and cross them at the ankles. Doing the first one shows you're very interested in what they have to say, and the second one shows you are relaxed, but you can still cross your feet towards them too.

What to look out for now is known as 'mirroring'. If the person you're dating copies your body language shortly after you've performed it then this is one of the best signs you can have. They're listening to what you say and they're liking it; they want to be the same as you and to fit in, so subconsciously they copy. Once you know this it can be quite funny when you're with a close group of friends and you all switch positions at the same time.

This next tip is an awkward one, but it's the most effective. Keep eye contact. Don't keep staring at them 100% of the time, but when you're talking to them and they look at you, try to match their gaze for as long as possible. To take the scientific view, prolonged eye contact with the opposite sex actually releases hormones, so the longer you're looking at each other, the more of an emotional bond you will make. If you're dating a woman who is relaxed, has her legs crossed towards you, is listening intently with her eyes focused on yours and is twirling her hair then whatever you're doing, you're doing it perfectly! If they are not matching your stance, have their feet pointing towards the door and are fiddling with their hands and looking behind you when you talk then I'm sorry, they may not be interested.

When you're on a date, try to not engage in body language that attempts to persuade someone to like you, such as nodding at the end of a sentence and looking at them expectantly. If they're feeling a little uneasy this could put them off, and in fact, there's nothing sexier than someone being completely at ease and showing no signs of caring about their body language at all. If you do feel nervous then sit back and let your shoulders un-tense. This will calm you down and make your date think you are easy to get along with. Good luck!

Stan Tian

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