You are shopping for groceries with your little one in tow. He sees a chocolate and he likes it, but you refuse to buy it for him, because you don’t want him to hook onto it. He immediately throws a tantrum and no amount of coaxing and cajoling seems to work. Finally, you relent and give in to his wishes.

Does this scene sound familiar to you?

Children can be very difficult to deal with. They tend to be stubborn or aggressive at times. In situations like this, parents are left wondering how they can inculcate discipline into their children.

Remember, discipline is not always about punishment. It involves teaching and learning. We, as parents should be able to teach our kids to respect us and others, to obey elders, to respect the rights of others and to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong.

Up to a certain extent children can learn by observing the consequences of their actions. For instance, if your child handles a toy in a reckless manner, he will not have another toy to play with. It is as simple as that. Until and unless you step in with a new toy, your child will be able to establish a connection between his actions and its consequence. In some cases, parents have to impose consequences in response to certain actions. For instance, if your child refuses to put away their toys after playing with it, you can refuse to give them toys the next time they ask for it. In this way, you can make your child aware that their disobedience won’t go unnoticed or unpunished. Some parents feel that giving their child some time to ponder over their deeds will help them understand their mistake and to never to repeat it again. If your child does or says something wrong, ask them to take a seat facing the wall and think over their actions. Do they feel justified in doing or saying what they did? By talking things over with your children you will be able to help them distinguish between right and wrong.

Whatever strategy you have decided to follow, be firm in your decision. Giving in when your child has tantrums sends the message to your child that if he is stubborn enough, things will eventually end up as per his wishes. It is a human tendency to test limits and children do this even more than adults. So let your children know that nothing is going to make you sway from your stand.

While disciplining your kids, don’t use too much criticism and negative comments. They only serve to injure a child’s self confidence. Instead, gently remind your child of what you would like them to do and appreciate their efforts.

It is a fine to reward your children for their good deeds. For instance, if your child helps you wash your car, it would be fine to reward their efforts with an ice cream. But never ever bribe your children to do something. This will only motivate them to stay stubborn till you bribe them.

Avoid spanking your child. Pain does not result in discipline and often, physical punishment verges on abuse and violence, leaving children mentally and physically tormented. Moreover, disciplining a child with physical punishments renders other forms of discipline ineffective since such children tend to respond only to violence.

Another thing that parents ought to remember is to stay calm. Don’t start yelling and screaming just because your child refuses to listen to you. If you feel that things are spinning outside your control, take some time to regain your composure and think things over before speaking and deciding on what to do.

Children are like clay; they can be molded and perfected. But they are also like porcelain, easy to break, never to be repaired again. So, discipline your child with the rod of love in a gentle and reasonable manner. This will go a long way in building their self confidence and respect for others.

Jason Ladock

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