Okay guys, I’m about to do you all a favour. I’m about to do what most of you are too polite or shy to do. I’m going to tell the girls what we want them to do with our nobs once they’re in their mouths. Boy it’s going to feel weird writing this article…

If you’re reading this madam then I’d first like to thank you on behalf of your boyfriend. There’s no shame in reading up on technique and trust me he’s typed ‘how to give your girlfriend an orgasm’ into Google more times than you’ve had hot meals. By swallowing your pride for a moment (sorry bad choice of words…) you’re going to make your guy very happy and repay him for his misguided attempts at recreating the Mother of All Orgasms he read about last night.

Another reason you might be here is that you’re feeling insecure about your ability to do the job as it were. Don’t feel bad – any time a girl has her mouth down there it feels good, it’s just that blowjobs can take a lot longer than handjobs or sex to have the desired effect.

You see the first thing to realise about guys is that there’s probably three ways we can be made to cum. The first is if you ‘fool’ our brains into thinking we’re having sex. That means anything that’s fast and firm and is why handjobs are so successful (as is actual sex). The second way is when the pleasure is just too great and this is usually the case during a blow job. Even if you’re going very slowly eventually it will build up to fever pitch but without the feeling of having sex this will take a very long time, the good news though is that it also feels more intense. Finally an idea or a thought can make a guy orgasm – if you’re in his favourite outfit and you do something really kinky then just the thought of you doing that can tip us over the edge. We’re going to focus on the first and second methods and I’m going to explain how you can combine them to bring your lucky fella to orgasm more quickly.

You see the problem in most cases for guys is that it’s just too slow and there’s not enough going on. It feels great but inevitably girls get tired or achy jaws and stop what they’re doing before the guy is finished. To rectify this try and think of your mouth as a substitute for your vagina – go up and down the shaft quickly and deeply (deepthroat is great but not necessary) and use the tongue to lick around the head at the same time. For the tongue the front of the penis head where the foreskin’s attached is most sensitive so pay special attention to this area. Don’t remove the entire penis from your mouth until you have to however as the rush of cold air on your saliva can negatively impact all your good work. If you can’t get the whole thing in your mouth you can hold the base with your hand and gently massage there at the same time. You can even massage the balls with the other hand. Additionally if you do need to stop for a moment to catch your breath then make sure you continue to massage his cock in the meantime or he’ll gradually reduce in excitement.

If done right this should be ‘too much’ and too fast and feel too much like sex for your guy not to cum quickly meaning less work for you and the prospect of more blowjobs from now on for him. Lucky, lucky guy…

Mack LeMouse

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