Generally, a family is very harmonious if they consider their children important in decision making. Especially, when their children are at their teenage, they feel needed, acknowledged and important in the family when they are called in while making decisions and their viewpoints are also considered while finalizing. Such a democratic setup helps them to think globally and not just about oneself and makes them very independent.

Discuss about important topics like family budgets, properties, savings, events planned in the future, investments and assets that would also serve as a healthy guidance for children to plan similarly when they grow up. It is very important not to just call children and ignore what they say. This leads to indifference, resentment and also tension among the members. The family unity is hampered.

Discussions make teens more receptive to parents and other family members and also increase their patience and the listening attitude. In addition, it sets the expectations right and sows the seed for their contribution to the family initiatives. But these meetings should not lead to dominance by anybody and consideration needs to be given for all age groups. In case of any differences during discussions, they need to be sorted out amicably.

Make these family get together special by ordering delicacies that the children like. Talk to them regarding what tastes they have developed recently so that you can include them in the menu. This is also a good time to educate on sensitive issues like social behaviour, sex education, relationships, peer stress and various other troubles that children may actually open out during a friendly talk. Do not insult, condemn or confront any child in particular when you meet. Reserve any such sensitive talks some other time.

Sometimes, you may have to deal with a specific child separately. If you have more than one child, make sure the rest of them do not feel ignored by spending time with just one of them. Try and educate your children as much as possible than enforce. If you threaten, they may feel that you are coming into their privacy.

Sometimes, you may have to refrain from asking too many questions. Start observing keenly if the child is trying to do something different, so that you do not curb any individualistic interest the child may want to develop. Teenagers love to explore new avenues that you may not be aware of. Except if there is a drastic change in the behaviour of the teen, do not ruin the progress or creativity of the child by enforcing rules, which may provoke him to become aggressive and unfriendly.

If the behaviour of the teen or the attitude is slowly changing, look back at the childhood and see whether there are some incidents that have affected them so much that they are resisting due to assumed insecurities. In case you are not able to handle the teen by yourself, you can consult a counsellor.

Be a friendly, patient, reliable and listening parent whom they can always fall back on for support. This would help you enjoy parenting and to not become overworked about the growth of your child.

Kyle Oliart

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