The responsibility of parents are not only involves providing the basic necessities for the child, giving them good education and guiding them to behave well but also coping with stress, pain, disappointments and fear. In as much as parents try to shield their children from various hardships and protect them as much as possible, it is tricky to teach the children how to handle fear. This is because kids can be afraid of things that you may overlook when they are young.

While some kids are afraid of dark, others are afraid of water or fire. Certain kids are afraid of some sounds and even some people. It is important that we keenly observe their reactions to various situations to understand what makes them afraid. For example, children who are scared of water would not go near the swimming pool or start crying when they see waves splashing in a beach.

Though fears can hold children back, it is the responsibility of adults to understand that people can be fearful of various things at any age and children are no exception. Hence, we need to help children to overcome their fear and not to scold them.

Patience is very important to deal with such emotions as children would otherwise avoid confronting such important things to you. Try to build in some fun activities where you combine the factors that they like with factors that make them fearful. For example, introduce a ball game inside water and encourage the child to enter into a knee-deep pool to overcome the fear of water. Assure them that it would be fun to get into water and there is no danger. You first enter the swimming pool and show the depth. Or call a child who is as tall as your child and ask him to get into the water to demonstrate. Hold them close to you when they get into the pool. Your warmth can really calm them and the fact that you would not let them down would increase their confidence in you and encourage them to overcome their fears.

Children cannot come out of their fears by compulsion. In fact, they would start resisting even more. Assurance, encouragement, protection, patience and friendly behaviour are very important at this stage. Do not get frustrated when a child is dealing with fear. Give enough support that they start enjoying the activity. Do not overdo the activity in a single day but try to repeat at regular intervals. Treat your child once they cooperate for an activity that challenges them. Pat their back and congratulate them for the bravery they showed during the activity. This would give a moral boost to the child to take part in it again.

Do not assume that the child would come out of the fear in some particular time frame. That may disappoint you or make you very impatient. Respect their fears and help them deal with it rather than condemning them.

In case they show too much resistance, give them time to get accustomed to the activities. You may also take the help of a counsellor if it becomes too difficult to handle the child by yourself. The counsellor may be able to analyze the child and give valuable suggestions.

Kyle Oliart

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