The first few days, weeks and even months of a new relationship are incredible, but they can bring about a lot of anxieties at the same time. At the start we're on constant alert so that we don't try moving things forward too fast, or invade our partners privacy beyond what is acceptable, yet sometimes knowing where those boundaries lie is difficult. Here are the five most important things to keep in mind when you've just got together with your beau...

24 Hour Check-Ups

The very first no-no for new lovers is knowing where they are and what they're doing at all times. If you work together then this situation may arise anyway, but if your partner wants some privacy then this is absolutely what you must give them. There is nothing more tiresome than somebody calling, texting and visiting your home to find out where you are an what you're doing, and when your partner tries to imagine a future like this they'll be quite put off.

Interrogation

Secondly, keep the awkward questions and comments for a few months in, rather than a few days. Asking about ex partners is definitely going to make them feel nervous and if you're the jealous type, almost any answer they give is going to set you on edge. Remember, you have only just entered this person's life and they will tell you about their past in their own time. Similarly, keep your own vital statistics (how many people you've slept with, how many serious relationships you've been in etc.) to yourself for a while, until it just comes up in conversation.

Living in Each Other's Pockets

Spending lots of time together is something that all new couples do, that's natural. What's not natural is spending so much time that you may as well move in together. Moving in is a huge step that needs to come after the honeymood period and once you get to know each other, so going straight in is going to put strain upon your fledgeling relationship from the get-go. At some point one of you will realise it's time to get back to your own place, which is when the other will feel hurt or confused.

Forgetting Your Life

As we've already said, spending lots of time together is normal, but don't overdo the desire to spend every living moment with your partner or it could get old too fast. Instead, keep in touch with your existing life, keep up with friends and don't give up your hobbies. Remember, your partner likes you for who you are and they became interested in you partly for the life you've built around you – don't give it up!

Trying to Change Them

This is probably quite an obvious tip, but trying to change a partner at any stage is wrong, let alone right at the beginning of a relationship. After all, why on earth did you become interested in them in the first place, if you just wanted to change all that once you got together? Any new partner will take you buying them new clothes or moving their furniture around as an insult to their own personality, so take a minute to think about why you want to change them before you do it.

Stan Tian

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