Most of us can imagine what it takes to be a well prepared prospective parent, but in the midst of excited relatives, ovulation charts and folic acid supplements it's easy to forget something that could save you a lot of both later down the line...

Firstly, go to your local sexual health clinic for a check up. If need be, have tests for STIs as these can have a severe effect on pregnancy and fertility, but otherwise simply ask them to check for any abnormalities which could hamper your chances of getting pregnant and having a healthy 9 months. This includes both of you, and sexual health professionals can give you some great advice on conceiving quickly.

Ideally the father visit the doctor 90 to 120 days before conceiving to test that his sperm is healthy. This is when both of you should start doing regular exercise, eating healthily and cutting out all those 'bad' foods and drinks. These include too much caffeine (no more than two cups of coffee per day), no more than 10 units of alcohol per week for men and no more than 3 units for women and giving up smoking completely. A female smoker's fertility is reportedly that of a woman almost ten years older than herself. So if you're 35, a smoker and trying to conceive then you can imagine it's going to be difficult.

Everyone knows that children are expensive, but it certainly can't hurt to sit down one evening with your partner and work out exactly where your income for the baby is going to come from. You'll want to spend money on new clothes, decorating a nursery and buying a cot, pram etc. before they're born so put a certain amount by and try not to go over it. You might also want to set up a bank account or direct debit from both your accounts into a separate savings account for your child's future. As little as £2 per week from each of you will mount up and the account will have reached £3744 by the time they're 18 years old.

Coming under this area is work and childcare. You need to define whether you or your partner will go to work while the other stays at home to look after the baby. Alternatively you might want to hire a full time nanny while you both continue your careers, or place your child in day care after two years of one of you staying off work.

Another important issue to discuss with your partner is parenting styles. You never know what attitudes towards childcare your partner has until you ask them about it and tell them about yours. Straighten out any differences in opinion you have with a compromise and remember that parenthood is a joint experience. One way to make this conversation easier is to look into defined styles of parenting, such as the Continuum method or authoritative parenting.

These are just a few of the things you need to discuss and sort out before trying to conceive. The main thing to remember is that a woman should be under as little stress as possible during her pregnancy, so planning these things beforehand will help to ensure you are both free of worry and your child is as healthy as possible.

Stan Tian

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