It never used to be a problem in the old days, but recently there are some strange practices in the dating game. For example, you can be dating a girl for two weeks, speak to her every night on the phone and still not be her boyfriend. With sex and relationships becoming so much more laid back, almost nothing is sacred. For this reason, if you want to technically be in a relationship, you need to ask.

This can actually be pretty tricky however. You’ve been going on dates for a while now, you know you like each other and you know you want it to continue, but how do you formally ask this without it seeming pointless and corny. And as always I’m afraid the impetus is on us guys to do the talking.

The other question is when to ask. Really there’s no rule here, but make sure you feel you both know each other well or it will seem premature (and that’s not something you want to be associated with…) and you won’t look as though you’ve thought it out or are taking it seriously. Wait until about the fifth date and you should be fine. Now just on to how to ask…

‘Will you be my girlfriend’ sounds like you’re in primary school again (unless you are in primary school in which case go ahead!). ‘Where is this going’ sounds pretty serious and a bit like you’re a girl. ‘Do you want to go steady?’ sounds like you’re in an American teen drama. ‘Will you go out with me?’ is confusing because you already are and again sounds a bit childish. ‘What are we?’ sounds like a deep philosophical question or just thick.

My solution? I went with ‘Would it be okay if I introduced you to people as my girlfriend’? This one I felt is fairly effective for several reasons. Firstly it acknowledges that you’re kind of already going out and that this is really just a formality, secondly it gives you a reason to need to be doing this, and thirdly it conjures images of the two of you at a fancy dinner party introducing each other to friends and business partners – certainly not childish and quite a nice image for her. For the record, it worked too.

In today’s world though there’s another vital step – changing your relationship status on Facebook. This means you’re ready to declare your love to all your friends and family and quite a few random foreign people and guys who were amazed you had the same surname. For this reason you can immediately follow the question up with ‘can I put it on Facebook?’. Whatever you do, do not change your relationship without telling her. That’s kind of intense and creepy. If she agrees though go ahead and congratulations; you are now going steady!

Mack LeMouse

Copyrighted material; do not reprint without permission.

 

View all articles by Mack LeMouse