Parents find it quite embarrassing when their child throws their temper tantrum, especially in a public place like a grocery store, supermarket, railway station, airport or a theatre. At that time, the first priority of a parent is to pacify the screaming child and make him calm. Though this sounds the next logical thing to do, it is quite tough to achieve the same.

Children throw tantrums for various reasons. The first primary reason would be the frustration of a child in not able to communicate his feelings exactly to the parents. It may also happen that he is trying to communicate something and the parents do not understand it. Thirdly, he gets really irritated while he is talking, the parents are preoccupied or ignoring his talks and conversing with some other people. Fourthly, he is displeased that his parents are not yielding to his demands or buying something he likes, like toys or chocolates.

Infants generally scream when they are in hunger or in pain or they do not get enough attention from their mother. Once they vent their frustration completely, they start crying. In the case of older children, they somehow know that their parents would listen to what they want by throwing tantrums in a very crowded place. Hence, though your child may be less assertive or relatively quiet at home, you may at times find a different behaviour trait outside.

In case you want to put an end to these frustrating temper tantrums, here are a few tips that may prove to be useful handling temper tantrums:

• Do not scold the child or enforce discipline when he is throwing tantrums. It may only worsen the situation. Be calm for some time. This would calm him down also.

• Try and explain that you do not approve of this behaviour and balance your decision as to whether you want to listen to him. Let him know that temper would not work in getting his wishes satisfied. Your child would understand this well over time and soon outgrow it.

• Distract your child by showing him something interesting or give him some small task to do like asking him to take a water bottle out of the bag. You may even drop a handkerchief and ask him to pick up and give you. You may be surprised at how much your child may become calm because of getting distracted with such simple tasks.

• Try and identify the reason as to why your child is frustrated. If he is hungry or in pain, then it is your turn to respond to it. But do not encourage bad behaviour when they throw tantrums asking for handling dangerous or brittle objects like glassware or any electrical item!

• Involve your child in simple decision making like the choice of dress. Some children create a lot of trouble while wearing dresses. However, if you ask your child what he or she wants to wear for the day, they would look forward to dressing up!

Temper tantrums should be handled with calmness and patience. Stay firm and do not encourage your child’s stubbornness, especially in front of others.

Mark Perry

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