Children try to be independent form the time they learn to take their first step alone. They wish to choose their own clothes, eat by themselves, and decide what classes to sign up for and so on. As parents, we tend to be overprotective about our children for fear that they may make a wrong decision and end up hurt. In our effort to protect them, we tend to smother our children and make them dependent on us for everything. How can we raise our kids to be independent and responsible adults?

Here are the five tips to help you raise independent kids:

• Let them speak: Let your children participate in certain decisions which concern them. For instance, they should have the freedom to choose clothes of their liking. That does not mean that you let them do all the choosing and stand aside. Make sure that your child dresses within the limits of decency and practicality. Similarly, let your child decide what classes he or she would like to sign up for. Whatever they choose, let them understand that they are responsible for it and will have to live out the consequences of their decisions. For example, tell them that there is no use saying that he hates chemistry after signing up for a course in advanced chemistry.

• Support their interests: Parents should acknowledge the fact that their children are individuals and are entitled to their own likes and dislikes. Find out what your kid is interested in and encourage them to develop their skills. For example, if your child has an artistic disposition, let them join a drawing or painting class and appreciate their efforts. Parental support goes a long way towards developing the self confidence a child needs, and self confidence is essential if one desires to be independent.

• Don’t restrict them too much: Some parents don’t permit their children to use the internet or telephone simply because they don’t trust them. This absence of trust damages the child’s self esteem. Let your child use the internet or telephone or television, but make sure that you keep tabs on their activities. Restriction in moderation is vital to ensure that your child is not on the wrong track.

• Let your children learn to stay without you: Most parents worry about leaving their children at home alone. Your children should be able to fend for themselves when you are not at home. For instance, they should be able to start with their homework or heat up dinner while waiting for you. Start by leaving your kids in charge while you go to the department store. If you need to stay away for a long time, entrust your children’s care to a dependable baby sitter or relative.

• Assign responsibilities: By assigning responsibilities to your children, you reinforce your trust in them. Give your children certain tasks to do like making the bed or taking out garbage or helping you in the yard. Don’t go around fixing everything your child has done because it damages their confidence and gives them the idea that it does not really matter if a job is not well done because you are there to fix it, so if you see a bed improperly made with the sheets crumpled, don’t bother. Your child will learn to fix it on his own. It just takes time and practice.

Jonathan Pitts

Copyrighted material; do not reprint without permission.

 

View all articles by Jonathan Pitts