Nobody's joking when they say having children changes your life completely. It's one of the biggest and most significant processes we go through as humans, not only physically for women, but mentally too. Unfortunately we often come unprepared for the fears that come with being pregnant, but we're very rarely alone in having them.

One of the most common fears during pregnancy is whether or not you will bond with your baby once he or she is born. It's not uncommon for women to feel completely detached from the fetus growing inside them right up to the moment the nurse hands them over. While this isn't a very nice way to look at it, our feelings of bonding with our babies occurs due to the floods of hormones that are released either during pregnancy or at/after birth. Some women don't receive these hormones which causes problems with mother-baby bonding once the baby has been born. While this can lead to post natal depression, it's rather a common occurrence and certainly not one that comes without successful treatments. If you're worried that you don't feel a bond with your baby during pregnancy then don't keep it bottled up – talk to your midwife, doctor and partner about recognizing the signs of post natal depression once the baby is born. This way you won't feel you are responsible for your own health, the baby's and taking care of the baby all at once.

A lot of women find being pregnant and socializing quite daunting. Suddenly the relationships that you had with people have changed. They now feel they have the right to touch your stomach, stroke it and ask you intimate questions that would be deemed socially unacceptable to non-pregnant women. Many women often complain about a complete loss of privacy and as if their body is owned by the people around them. The important thing here is to remember people's intentions. Yes, they've forgotten that you are a person too and that you have your own personal boundaries, but they are also excited for you and want to feel a part of this new life. The best way around the problem is to talk to somebody close and ask them to talk to relatives and friends about how you are a private person usually and are feeling a bit uncomfortable. This type of conversation shouldn't be hard as people close to you will get asked how you are doing a lot too. You should never feel like you're letting people down by not letting them touch you and ask private questions; you own your body and it's important to keep it that way.

These are just two of the most common fears that women face during pregnancy, but there are plenty of places to find information and confirmation that you are not the only one to feel this way. Join an antenatal class and discuss your feelings with other to-be mothers. Or talk to your mum, auntie or grandmother about when they were pregnant. You're almost guaranteed to find some solace in the fact that other people are going or have gone through the same thing.

Stan Tian

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