Child abuse is inexcusable, the majority of us know that. Unfortunately, there is still a small number of the population who think they can get away with abusing their children and for one reason or another feel they need to be violent or inappropriate. If you know or think that child abuse is happening to a child that you or your children know but you are unsure of what to do, then take these tips on board...

Firstly, remember that abuse doesn't just mean physical violence. It can take the form of neglect, emotional abuse (mainly through insults or being manipulative through talking) and sexual abuse (incest) too. So don't assume that a neglected child is okay because you take them in twice a week and look after them; there could be other forms of abuse going on at home at the same time.

Of course, standing up to a parent who you think may be abusing their child is daunting and even terrifying. It's a big step and a serious allegation to make; one that may deeply offend if there is, in fact, nothing bad going on. This is why you should seek a third party, or a 'buffer' if you like, to tackle the situation professionally and safely. Your first step should be to call or arrange a meeting with a child welfare organization, like Childhelp or the NSPCC in the UK. These organizations will tell you whether what you have seen or heard is justifiable as child abuse and what your next step should be. If necessary they will help you to organize a social care visit to the child's home and keep your identity anonymous. Don't assume that social services will pick up on child abuse without you alerting them to it; often abuse is very well hidden by the abusive parents.

You may be keen to know what to look out for in a child who is living with abusive parents. Firstly they may be inadequately dressed or prepared for the situation they are in. They might be smelly or dirty and wearing long sleeved tops in the height of summer to cover bruises or injuries. Many children with abusive and especially neglectful parents will have to make their own way home from parties or school, even when it's dark and may end up in situations or places that they should not be in at their age. Their individual behaviors might give you a clue, such as young children being uncharacteristically pessimistic or hard on themselves, or showing sexual behaviors from a very young age. Children with abusive parents might also seem afraid or anxious when it comes to the time when they should go home, as opposed to simply being reluctant to leave their friends as a lot of children are.

Do remember that you are dealing with an incredibly sensitive situation. The child may still be dependent on their parents and denying that they are doing anything wrong, so try not to get them involved or ask questions. The very best thing to do is to keep that child safe while they are not at home and contact a third party professional organization who not only deal with abusive parents using set policies.

Stan Tian

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