Bad habits are not confined to older children and adults. Even toddlers have bad habits like hitting, bullying and lying. Parents often justify such behavior on the pretext that it is part of growing up. However, if these habits are not dealt with effectively, they tend to become deep rooted in the child’s character, and this in turn poses a host of other problems. So, how can parents and caregivers help toddlers break their bad habits?

An important point to remember is that toddlers do not bite, whine and become aggressive because they know it makes you frustrated. They do this because they do not know how to communicate. A one year old child’s language skills are not adequately developed and he is not aware of the consequences of his actions. A few simple tactics should help you to deal with and will break your toddler’s bad habits.

If your one year old bites and hits you or his friends, you may be berating yourself for being a bad parent but take heart. It is not your fault. Toddlers at this age use their mouths to explore everything, and biting is their way of expressing their curiosity. Sometimes, toddlers bite and hit when they get frustrated or when they crave attention. This problem can be nipped in the bud. For instance, if your child bites her friend during play time, take your child aside and calmly explain to her that her action hurts others and that it is unacceptable. If possible, take her away from the playground and give her some time to be alone, so that she can digest the facts and make a decision never to repeat this deed again. Another idea is to give her a small punishment like not letting her watch her favorite cartoon for a day; so that she will know that her action has bad consequences. Another point to remember, observe which situations make your child aggressive and help her deal with it in a calm manner.

Some children tend to bully others and assume a bossy attitude when in a group. Sometimes, they may even demand things from you. Most of the time, this is because of the toddlers inability to frame words properly. You can help your child by setting a good example. Make it a point to speak politely while at home. Be polite to your spouse and child. Rest assured that your child will take the cue from you. For instance, why not say "Please wash your hands Martin.", rather than" Wash your hands!" At the dinner table, teach your child to ask for what he wants politely. For example, "pass the chicken please", instead of "Mom, chicken!" The good manners and polite talk he learns at home will reflect in his speech towards the others too.

Lying is another bad habit seen in many young children. While older children lie to save themselves, younger children do this because they do not know the difference between right and wrong. Their lives are filled with imagination and everything sparks off their imagination. This could be the reason for their lying. Don’t prompt your child to lie by getting angry in certain situations. For example, if your toddler broke your favorite flower vase while playing ball inside the house, just say "See, the vase is broken. Now we will have a rule of not playing ball in the house." Don’t be harsh in saying "Why were you playing inside the house? See, the vase is broken!" This will only cause the child to deny his action. When your toddler tells the truth about certain things, appreciate his actions and reward him for it.

When children whine and become adamant, be firm in your stand. Let your "no" be no. Don’t let your child get the impression that he can change your mind by whining.

If your toddler has the habit of saying bad and hurtful words, explain to him that such words are not acceptable and that they hurt others. Let him know that you understand his feelings but your decision is final and has to be obeyed. You cannot get through to toddlers by getting angry or acting tough. You have to be patient and gentle if you want to get across to their little minds. The earlier you start purging bad habits, the better.

Jason Ladock

Copyrighted material; do not reprint without permission.

 

View all articles by Jason Ladock