Though children may generally lack the physical strength or size needed to cause serious damage or injury, cases where children cannot control their temper are still serious and anger management for kids is highly important. Children who cannot control their anger are likely to get into trouble at school and have trouble making friends, they are also likely to carry this behavioural difficulty on into adult life where it may present an even more serious issue resulting in arrest or isolation. Fortunately anger management for kids is largely the same as it is for adults, and as a parent it’s not too difficult to help them control their rage and learn that tantrums are not acceptable.

The first thing to do is to learn to deal with the outbursts as they occur. This should involve several steps, the first of which is always to remove the child from the situation – something which parents and teachers often refer to as a ‘time out’. It should be explained to the child that a time out in itself is not a punishment, but a tool to help them calm down which they then may hopefully be able to use themselves. If they perceive the time out as a punishment it will only serve to make them angrier.

Once in their time out, it’s important to focus their attention prevent them from ruminating on the ‘injustice’ of the situation and to enforce that this is not a punishment. For adults we normally achieve this by focussing on our breathing or counting to ten, whereas for children you can help them by making and holding eye contact and telling them that it’s alright and they need to calm down. Children also respond well to the concept of a ‘happy place’ which you can teach them to utilise prior to them getting angry.

Another good form of anger management for kids is to teach them to smile and laugh. When you hold their attention then make sure that you smile (smiling is contagious) and try to make light of the situation. This works in several ways – firstly it’s very hard to remain angry when you’re laughing. Secondly they may experience ‘facial feedback’ which explains the psychological phenomenon whereby pulling an expression – even forcibly – can actually cause us to experience the corresponding emotion.

Mack LeMouse

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