Psychologists have recently come to realise even more than before how important our thoughts are to our psychological health. The way you think about events and yourself it seems can colour your perceptions of everything that happens. Negative ruminations and self talk are symptomatic of many mood and anxiety disorders leading to the development of cognitive behavioural therapy, the school of psychology that aims to fix ‘faulty’ thinking in order to change the way patients think and so perceive the world. This is done in various ways, including using a form of meditation called ‘mindfulness’ in order to identify these negative thought patterns when they occur, and ‘hypothesis testing’ to prove to yourself that the negative thoughts are incorrect and unfounded.

Another method however that can help counter the effects of negative thinking and that can be used by anyone to improve their quality of life and success in business and relationships is daily affirmations. The concept here is that you ‘override’ your negative thoughts by repeating positive phrases to yourself on a regular basis (in this case daily) - either out loud or just in your own head. This will then change your thinking and so your behaviour in many ways so as to make you happier, healthier and more successful. We’ll get into the mechanisms of operation that make affirmations work, but first, how to use daily affirmations to improve your outlook and lifestyle.

To come up with your own affirmations you need to first identify an element of your thinking patterns that could use tweaking. Do you find you’re too hard on yourself? Not confident? Can’t pick up members of the opposite sex? Have a pessimistic outlook? Don’t like public speaking? Identify one or several aspects of your thinking that’s currently holding you back and then you can tailor your daily affirmations to help with that. Whilst you may have been brought up to think that confidence = arrogance and that it’s important to be humble, in reality insecurities and lack of confidence will hold you back and cause you to damage your relationships and success. You don’t have to brag or tell anyone, but all of us are equally worthwhile and capable - having a quiet confidence will only make you happier and help you to capitalise on that ability.

Now that you’ve identified an area that needs focus you need to construct your affirmation. This should be in the first person, present tense and positive. For example ‘I am a confident and successful person’, or ‘I have what it takes to become a successful writer’; rather than ‘I will try to improve my interpersonal skills’. While it doesn’t matter if you change the exact phrasing slightly over time (so long as it carries the same meaning), it is paramount that you keep to those two rules. The reason for this will become clear further on.

Now that you have your daily affirmations you should find a set time to repeat them. This can be either in the morning or in the evening depending on your personal preference; if you do it in the morning it will help you to feel confident for the day ahead, while doing it in the evening will help cement the messages in your mind. Of course there is no harm in doing it twice a day (it’s even better in fact) or even several times a day. The most difficult thing to do is to remember to repeat your affirmations in the first place, so setting a reminder by your alarm clock or in your diary can be a sensible precaution. While repeating these daily affirmations to yourself may make you feel ‘silly’ or self conscious, over time they should start to come more naturally. If you prefer to, repeating them in your head can be just as effective, though easier to forget.

These daily affirmations can then be used either indefinitely, or contextually. If you have a sports event coming up for example, an athlete might use positive affirmations to improve their training and their confidence for the event itself. Alternatively you may ‘evolve’ your affirmations as you find yourself developing. As well as daily affirmations, you can also use affirmations as ‘one offs’ - perhaps to give yourself confidence in a specific situation, or to counter the effects of a negative situation or comment. For example you may use affirmations just before giving a presentation or speech, or if someone insults your looks and you thin it may have ‘sunken in’ you can use positive affirmations to reassure yourself of your appearance. Your ego is a fragile and precious thing that needs constant massaging and protecting if you are going to succeed to the best of your ability.

Once you’ve started to repeat these daily affirmations you should find that it begins to change your thinking and thinking positive thoughts becomes second nature. Instead of doubting yourself and criticising yourself, your inner voice should start to encourage you and compliment you. This will then work in many ways to help you get more from life.

Firstly, thinking positive thoughts will help make you happier, simply from the fact that you’re now experiencing reassurance and encouragement from yourself instead of doubts and negativity. This increased mood should then radiate out of you as you approach life with more confidence and optimism. By being positive you will find that you take more calculated risks, see the value and the good in your setbacks and challenges, are less likely to give up on a situation and will be better a better, more inspiring leader.

Secondly, daily affirmations can lead to a phenomenon known as the ‘self fulfilling prophecy’ through the individual beginning to believe their own affirmations. Here, by way of thinking of themselves as successful or charming, a person then becomes more like that. This may sound like magic but it’s actually fairly common sense if you think about it. Someone who thinks they’re successful is likely to dress more smartly, speak more confidently and more assuredly, be better and more proactive at self promotion and put more time into a job they think they’re good at. Obviously employers, colleagues, business partners and clients are going to pick up on these changes and will take that person more seriously which will clearly lead to their increased success. They say that you should dress for the job you want rather than the job you want and this is very true, but if you really want to do well you should look and act the part too.

Telling yourself you’re successful isn’t lying to yourself as you’re only as successful as you think you are. So get thinking yourself successful!

Mack LeMouse

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