Relationships are huge part of society. So much so that if a person feels they are lacking a purposeful relationship, some feel the need to advertise themselves in lonely hearts sections in newspapers, magazines and on the internet. This article will examine theories and views on the language of personal ads and includes a study that aims to investigate the different discourses people use to portray themselves to a potential partner.

Coupland (1996) relates the use of personal adverts to the business terms of commercialisation and marketability. She studied written and spoken dating adverts and found that textual construction of self and other identities are used to develop new relationships. In effect, she reports that people are selling themselves to make other people like them and are attempting to release themselves from the reality of their everyday life. When attempting to sell themselves, trends can be seen between the genders. Jagger (2001) found that men market their financial and occupational resources more, whereas women put more emphasis on their physical attractiveness and try to make their body shape sound appealing.

Gender alone may not influence whether a person advertises. Jagger (2005) believes it interacts with age to dictate when someone may advertise. Through content analysis it was found that younger men and older women are most likely to advertise. Furthermore, they differ from the traditional idea of wanting a relationship with someone of a similar age, for example older women may advertise for younger men. This is linked in by Jagger, to living in a culture where youth is desirable so assembling an age identity can be problematic.

Techniques used by people advertising themselves to find and converse with a suitable partner were examined by Marley (2002). Advertisers of personal adverts use modulations, which are proposals of what they seek and offer. They combine this with modalizations which are propositions that enhance possibility of a match. Both techniques together are used to negotiate their requirements if each other.

To look for different techniques to the ones mentioned above that people use when searching for a partner, discourse analysis may be a good research method. Foucalt shows discourse as a system of representation (Hall, cited in Wetherell et al 2001) where the subject is positioned to feel a certain way. He also states that discourse changes in different historical contexts, in this period lonely hearts adverts make sense to us but they may not have done in the past or in the future. Wetherell (2001) states that discourse analysis is the process that theory and knowledge in the social sciences is built on. Using language an opinion is constructed where the writer positions themselves in a desirable way and positions the reader to desire them, this will be analysed. It is not what the scripts says, but what it does. Variability, of how the subject is addressed will also be analysed to look for trends and different approaches. This is relevant to lonely hearts adverts as the writer needs to create a positive impression and discourse analysis allows us to see how they do this. Together this helps to unravel the function of the discourse, which in this case is to attract a partner. This links to social Psychology as it analyses how people interact with each other to achieve a certain goal.

A Study…

This study will focus on the techniques used by older women above the age of 50 using discourse analysis of fifty articles. Jagger’s (2005) findings identify them one of the two most likely groups to advertise. This makes them an important group to analyse and it will be interesting to see how they portray themselves when advertising and how they address their age.

This study investigated the different techniques people use in their discourse when advertising for a partner in a newspaper lonely hearts column. More specifically females over the age of fifty. This was carried out using discourse analysis on fifty articles written by females between fifty and seventy. The main areas studied were construction of image through language, sentence structure, variability, intertextuality, and the overall function.

The newspaper was purchased and the first fifty articles from over 50 year old females were marked. A grid was then drawn up for key points to be written down for easy analysis. Further ideas were written down on rough paper as patterns developed. The discourses were studied for their language construct and patterns of language. This involves the choice of word and the impact this choice has, for example thin and slim give different ideas of how someone may look but ultimately may describe the same body shape. Within this the syntax will be analysed to check the order of the words for patterns. Variability was analysed, this looked at the different ways that people said the same thing. The position that the writer places themselves in to gain the best response from the reader was investigated. The texts were also checked to see if intertextuality was used as a persuasion technique, to see whether they referred to themselves in terms of a different context. The overall function was then analysed by looking back at the previous criteria to decide what the writer was trying to achieve.

Conclusion

The main functions of the discourse were to find either a ‘companion,’ (usually by widowed females) or to find someone to ‘share their life with,’ and maybe leading to a relationship.

Due to the short nature of the articles, the persuasion techniques mostly involved descriptive, persuasive lexis aiming to position themselves as desirable to the males. Some articles resembled a list. The most common word used was ‘attractive,’ this is their subjective view and not everybody’s idea of attractiveness will be the same. It was often the first word of the passage so they are attempting to gain the male’s attention instantly. Other similar words used to try to stand out positively were ‘classy,’ ‘sophisticated,’ and ‘elegant.’ By using these terms they are positioning themselves as having perfect characteristics, showing themselves to be desirable and placing themselves in a higher class than most people. It can sound intimidating for the male as he will be under a lot of pressure to impress her.

The strategies used to describe the body size of the females were varied and often ambiguous. They all had an overall function to make their different shapes sound as desirable as possible and to make the most of their possible imperfections. This was achieved through euphemisms. Females whose figure was probably large used terms like ‘curvy,’ and ‘cuddly’ to describe themselves. Curvy may link to the evolutionary assumption that males prefer this shape and that they see it as an indicator that she will be a good mother due to it helping in childbirth. It may also be trying to appeal to men who do not like women to be too skinny (‘voluptuous’ was also used). Cuddly is a warm and friendly term that could be associated with closeness and affection. She is saying that there is plenty to cuddle up too if you want a close relationship and masking the fact that this is a possible problem with her appearance. To avoid the opposite problem of being declared undesirably skinny women used the term ‘slim.’ This is a term with connotations of a body that still has curves, but is also very compact and sexy. Similarly, ‘petite’ was used to sound sexy, this could also cover up worries that the females may have about their height. Females who seemed most concerned with their size used vague descriptions such as ‘average build,’ or ‘medium build.’ This means it is hard to imagine what shape they are as everyone has a different idea of what average or medium build is. They are positioning the reader to decide for them what they see as acceptable.

Stereotypes of what some males are traditionally viewed as seeing desirable were emphasised and exploited to appeal more to the readers. When describing hair colour, ‘blonde,’ was often highlighted or in capital letters. Blonde girls are often viewed by men as exotic. They tend to have the connotation of a model and the assumption is that they have a desirable body as well as innocence and youthfulness. Youthfulness was a function many women tried to achieve throughout the passages, as they are older. This was sometimes accompanied with ‘blue eyes,’ once again implying innocence. Another hair description that males tend to find attractive is ‘brunette.’ The connotations are again model like and youthful, only one female described her hair colour as brown. The result of this is that amongst the other articles hers appeared dull and uninteresting and she failed to stand out. This shows that this language construction technique is a successful one to meet the function. Females only felt the need to identify their country or area of origin when they were Irish. The female Irish accent is generally considered to be ‘sexy’ by some males. They are focussing on this as their main selling point which could be a disguise for other less attractive features.

A common feature was that many of the females wanted a male for ‘companionship,’ or to ‘share their life with,’ but many times on the end was written ‘maybe more.’ This positions all the power onto the female. In effect she is putting the male on trial and saying that if he impresses her enough she may want an adult relationship and if he does not she will not be interested. She constructs a situation where the decision will be hers, the male will be aware from reading it that he will need to thrill her.

Intertextuality was used only once, ‘But not past my sell by date!’ Here she is referring to her age in terms of the text that you would expect to see on a product in a supermarket. The sell by date is a cut off point where the product has no use any more, she is saying that she still has plenty of life in her and is still useful. The main method to dismiss their age was to state they were ‘young,’ or ‘young at heart.’ This was often backed up by listing hobbies such as walking and other outdoor activities. Sometimes they claimed the they were ‘energetic,’ these terms position them as lively and sociable and is an attempt to prove their own statement that their age is irrelevant and they are not like other older people, and to convince the reading male of this fact.

Many females stated they wanted a ‘gent.’ The connotations are a male who treats them well, it implies kind, gentle and caring. By saying gent they are keeping the advert informal and slightly playful. It possibly is an attempt to sound young and show personality, as if they were asking for a gentleman a more old fashioned feeling is generated. They have positioned themselves as somebody who deserves to be cared for and the male must fulfil this role.

A final recurring theme was many females mentioned they were animal lovers including ‘cats, dogs and horses.’ This suggests they are caring but perhaps more house orientated as they feel the need to state their animals rather than their hobbies. This could attract men who see a woman’s gender role as in the home.

To conclude, the females address their age by emphasising that they act young for their age and list activities that they partake in. They manipulate the lexis to show a more appealing view of themselves and their physical features in a way that does not lie but gives a better impression. They concentrate and list what they consider their best feature to deflect from their less appealing features. They tried to gain control over the relationship by adding in that it may go from friends to an adult relationship, but only if they wish it to.

This study supports Coupland (1996), showing that people try to escape their reality, they do this by picking which features of themselves to emphasise to sound the best they can, increasing their marketability. Most of the females commented on their body shape and tried to use it to their advantage which is also into Jagger’s (2001) that theory. These results differ from Jagger (2005) as they do not show the women seeking a younger male, however they did also see their age as an issue. Unlike that study, this investigation also looked into the ways that they dealt with that problem.

The study has good ecological validity as it is genuine real people seeking a partner being analysed. They are unaware they are being studied meaning their adverts are not influenced by demand characteristics.

Due to the length of the adverts being so short, there was no variance in the way that the issues were discussed within each advert. This meant it could not be analysed and an improvement to the study would have been to have chosen passages that lasted for more than a sentence to see if people did vary the way they discussed the issue. Once again, due to the restrictions on words, there was no patterns in the language to be analysed meaning that two strategies the method stated were to be measured could not be.

As a picture of the females has never been seen this study is based purely on speculation. It is both possible the articles are either all truthful with no attempt at constructing a certain image or positioning themselves. Or possibly the opposite, that they have constructed a completely different person to who they really are to enhance their chances of finding a male.

Future studies could see how the articles are written if the article has a picture attached to it. We can see if they are more honest in their appraisal or they still try to use the language to make themselves more appealing than they truly are. The females could also be asked to write an article about themselves, then participants could be asked to write an article from viewing the picture and they could see how closely they match. This would allow us to see which part of them they exaggerate most and analyse certain parts of their technique closer where the differences lay.

The main finding remains however that authors of personal ads manipulate the lexis to show a more appealing view of themselves and their physical features in a way that does not lie but gives a better impression, and due to be being older they try to deny their age and emphasise they still feel young. They also try to put themselves in a position of power in the relationship from the start. If that’s not a warning sign then I don’t know what is…

Mack LeMouse

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