If you haven't grown up around someone with a disability, had a disabled friend or known anything about disabilities then suddenly being thrust into talking to or even caring for a disabled person can be a terrifying prospect. You'll most likely be worried about saying something wrong, offending them or not knowing how to fill awkward silences. Usually the best medicine for your nerves is simply to get stuck in and do what you feel is right; only practice and time will make it go.

However, there are certain things that should be remembered when you are around people with different disabilities, such as helpful things you should do, and things you should avoid doing but didn't necessarily realize would be a problem. Take a blind person for example; their other senses may compensate for their lack of sight but they also rely on another person's description of something or someone to feel included or have understanding. If you tell them the room you're in is lovely, tell them why it's lovely. Tell them what colors it's decorated in, how many people it could hold, where the furniture is and how bright it is. You'll probably find they will listen to your description and then ask you 'are the ceilings very high?' or 'how many people are here?'. This shows they trust you to keep them informed and they're not scared to ask you for details.

Those with a brain injury or learning disability, however, still rely on your explanation of things but more so that they can interact with their environment. Spend a few seconds showing them something before letting them touch it, but discussing it with them too. The most important thing to remember here is that their memory may be impaired and their emotional intelligence too, so you should keep calm and content. If you're panicky with sudden movements and a manic look in your eye they'll pick up on it and feel on edge too. Remember there's no need to worry so smile at them, listen, talk and enjoy yourself. If they seem distressed then tell them everything is okay and try to find out what they need or want before explaining to them it is being fixed.

A deaf person will most likely be uninterested in being treated as a disabled person. The majority of those who are hearing impaired can lip read, so you can talk to them normally anyway. Being in a room full of deaf people can be noisy, but it's also a very vibrant experience and you may find your perception of hearing is challenged.

Those with injuries, say a spinal injury or perhaps amputation don't want you to do everything for them, but you should stay aware. Imagine if you were a foot shorter than you are, but people kept doing things for you that you were totally capable of? It's quite likely you'd get fed up of it.

The most important thing to remember when interacting with people with all types of disability is that they are as much of a person as you are, with interests, desires and dislikes too. Don't agree with them simply because they are disabled; have a debate about something, tell them what you enjoy and simply have fun.

Stan Tian

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