A good relationship lasts longer if there are no conflicts and arguments in it. It takes both partners to do their share in making this possible. However, there may be cases when one partner or even both partners have some tendencies to argue about something. It would be wise to know what you have to do just in case it would happen to you.

• Take time to listen to what your partner has to say. Don’t talk at the same time. Let your partner do the talking and on your part, listen and be patient as well. Your partner would realize that you are giving due importance to the things that are said during the argument.

• Show respect to your partner. Tell your partner you respect all views and thoughts talked about in the argument. Never raise your voice or shout and try hard not to show any anger during the argument.

• Be more understanding of your partner. Try to consider that your partner may be having other problems – work, health and financial matters that may somehow cause arguments.

• Be more confident of yourself. Focus on your inner self and be always reminded that you can handle this relationship without arguments.

• Be more positive. Remember that your relationship with your mate is one that should be given all the care and love it is worth. To believe that you can work it out with your mate is already a good positive thought for the day.

• Don’t forget to take a timeout. If your mate is in an arguing mood, just calmly ask for some respite, move to the other room and have some quiet time. This will do you both good since it would give time for emotions to settle down.

• Don’t be easily pissed off by what your mate is arguing about. Try to show more constraint in your emotions, and try to think how you would react under these circumstances. Learn self control, breathe easily and mentally remember that you are the more passive one in this case.

• Communicate with your partner thru letters. If there is a problem which you think needs to be addressed, write a letter about it. This is a good way to avoid an argument; it gives time for your partner to think and both of you would eventually patch up things quietly.

• Learn to compromise. If your partner thinks there is a better way for something, then try it. Your partner might be right so be open minded enough to see things that way.

• Acceptance that you have a problem with your mate about arguments is a way to settle down your nerves during an argument. Since you already know that your mate has some tendency to argue, then you are already in the know of what to do. In such case, you do what you know is good at the moment – being quiet and sympathetic to your mate.

The relationship is without flaws; there would be arguments – a reality that is a fact in relationships. It would take a lot of patience for you to avoid having an argument with your mate. But then, if the relationship is all worth it, then you just have to do all you can to avoid this problem.

Jonathan Pitts

Copyrighted material; do not reprint without permission.

 

View all articles by Jonathan Pitts