As parents, there would be some problems within the family that we need to handle with care. One of these common problems is sibling rivalry within the family. This is a normal family problem that may arise; however, it should not be treated as a mere passing phase of your children’s growing-up process. The need to address sibling rivalry at its early stage is the proper way to maintain harmony within the family.

1. Make a rule that no one is exempted in any given situation that may cause a rift in the family. Listen to both sides. Try to talk to both siblings enabling them to hear each other’s side. Then let the one at fault realize his mistake without you necessarily accusing anyone at fault. This way, both siblings would realize that you are serious enough to deal with any of them who start the trouble and that there is some punishment accorded by such unruly behavior.

2. Try to train your children to love and to take care of each other at an early age. As toddlers, you can teach them to hug and kiss whenever one of them has to go somewhere, or teach them to greet each other any time of the day and other small things that would help them learn to love each other. Teach them to help one another by involving them in activities that they can do together such as some household chores or doing errands for you. Teach them mutual respect for each other. Teach them to appreciate each other by reminding them to say "thank you" every time one did something good. This attitude would carry on until they grow up and would lessen the rivalry between them.

3. Make time to talk to each child and allow him to share his feelings with you. Let each one feel that you understand their needs and their problems. But, do make sure to let them understand that you are there to help them solve their problems. Teach them some guidelines about problem-solving skills which they can use to avoid rivalry with each other. Try to teach them to work out their problems in more calm ways without fighting. Try to emphasize that each has to be responsible enough to correct the mistake they made to keep the family free from problems.

4. Try to give each child a break. You can temporarily give them their own time and space. You can allow each sibling to enjoy each of his own interests with other friends they like. Make each sibling to somehow miss each other, and at the end of the day each would likely share good experiences to help them enjoy each other’s company often.

5. Make family time a fun time. Set aside a weekend for the whole family to get together to have fun like games, eating and sharing stories. This way, everyone can just relax and enjoy. If you can make dinner a family night each night, then that would be good too. It would give each family member to be updated on each other’s activities and help resolve problems.

Jason Ladock

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