Arrogance has long been thought of as a weakness or at least as something that we should avoid – pride before a fall and all of that. However in some cases it can actually get us quite far, and there are a few scenarios that can certainly benefit from a bit of well placed arrogance. Take dating for instance, where a bit of arrogance can come across as an attractive quality as well as one that gives you the brashness you need to be able to go up and talk to members of the opposite sex in the first place.
Dating Advice – Why Arrogance Can Be Attractive
If you’ve ever read a book called ‘The Game’ or ‘The Rules’ then you will be familiar with some pick up techniques and you’ll have noticed that a lot of these focus around a carefully crafted arrogance – even better then if you happen to already be blessed with that arrogance. They would have you believe that with a little bit of swagger, of brashness and of rudeness, you can actually make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex and ‘pull’ someone who is a long way out of your ‘league’ as it were – and it seems to work with many of the supporters of the technique sporting arm candy that really doesn’t look like it belongs on an arm so un-buff and connected to a head so gawky. So how does the ‘game’ or the ‘rules’ recommend you use your arrogance to score?
The central concept is that you are trying to make yourself appear like the better catch. When you approach a woman or a man that you believe to be out of your league then you tend to communicate this view unconsciously and the potential partner picks up on this. At its core the dating game is about being able to find the best provider for your offspring – whether in terms of success and resources, in terms of genetics or in terms of fertility. If you should come across as a long way below your potential partner, then you give them no reason to consider you as the provider for that child.
You might think that you’re just looking for a ‘fling’ and that genetic material and resources shouldn’t come into it – however this is something that is programmed into us, so it still plays an important role and will always have an impact regardless of your intentions.
Nice Guys Finish Last
So the mistake that most guys and girls make is to act as though the person they want to date is God’s gift – to hold open doors for them, buy them flowers and compliment them at every turn. Then they say self deprecating things like ‘I’m not really that good looking’ or ‘I’m not that much of a catch’ – because self deprecation is attractive right?
What they’ve actually done here is to put the potential partner on a pedestal while crapping all over themselves – which doesn’t exactly make them look attractive. Now the woman or man believes they are talking to someone who isn’t as good looking as themselves, or much of a catch and that they can do much better, and they might also find the person they’re talking to be bit of a creep…
How to Use Arrogance
The solution then is to use that arrogance and to come off as not needing the other person so that they have to work to impress you. This shifts the balance of power, and by making them think that you’re the one who holds the cards you make yourself more attractive and they will put in the work.
There are two ways to do this that are taught in these dating guides. One is to come across as supremely confident, and the other is to actually put them down so that you are raising yourself while lowering them. Of course you want to do this in a fun playful way, rather than a hurtful destructive way so you need some well crafted chat up lines in order to playfully put your potential partner down while coming across as confident. At the same time simply having the guts to insult a member of the opposite sex will mean that you come across as very confident, and as it’s not a method anyone else is likely to be using you’ll also stand out from the crowd and be more interesting. By showing that you don’t worship the ground this person works on, you demonstrate that you must have something about yourself that gives you that confidence and indifference, so try some of these.
Some Pick Up Lines
Here then are some pick up lines that make you seem confident while playfully knocking the object of your affections. These are often referred to on the web as ‘cocky funny’ lines. Try some and see where you get…
‘I’d buy you a drink but it looks like you’ve had enough.’
‘I’d buy you a drink if you drank something more respectable… ‘
‘That’s an interesting dress, I admire bravery… ‘
‘I really love your shoes. Not so sure about the huge bag, but the shoes are nice.’
‘Hi, I take it you’re single?’
‘You look great for your age.’
‘I’ll be over there. Come over when you’re ready.’
‘It’s fine to feel intimidated around me but please do try to get over that.’
‘Would you like a drink? Of course you would.’
‘You know hair dye is damaging to your hair?’
‘My friends think you’re cute. Maybe you are a little… ‘
‘If you let me buy you a drink. I’ll let you touch my hair.’
‘You’ve got to be among the top 10 women/men in here.’
Notice that all of these are also back-handed compliments in that they are not just cutting. For example if your friends think the person is cute then that means they must be somewhat attractive. Likewise saying they look great for their age at least means they look great… Bear in mind though that this won’t work on every person and that you might well end up insulting people and genuinely hurting their feelings if they are very shy or a bit insecure. To avoid this then you need to learn to be adaptable and to respond to how well they take it. A lot of dating and flirting is about being adaptable and listening to what the other person has to say. Good luck!