Life is beautiful and full with various experiences. But sometimes we find ourselves in a certain bad condition and don’t want to do anything about it. Thinking about problems that surround us can be frustrating. It is just like you are always in misery. But don’t worry, it’s a part of being human.
If you find yourself trapped in such condition then you need to wake up fast. Stop evaluating and judging the distressing situation and remind yourself that feelings are nothing more than feelings, whether they feel good or bad. Basically, everything can be solved, and the ultimate key lies inside you and with enough time, even emotional hurricanes will dissipate. When negative emotion threatens and you feel like you’re in the middle of darkness, you can repeat this phrase to yourself over and over again “Feelings are just feelings”. All feelings will pass, and in the meantime, you can simply observe them and accept their presence in your life for the moment.
You need time to become a master of relaxation. Being relaxed isn’t equal to being lazy. Relaxation is a skill, like other skills, it needs time to master. You should rev up yourself in an attempt of practicing the relaxation as often as you can. Initially, you can do it step by step. Regularity is more important than the total amount of time you devote to it. This skill can help you manage through periodic emotional tsunamis when they strike. Relaxation is something that you can’t force to occur.
The harder you try to make yourself to relax, the less successful you’ll be. Give the process enough time. No skills allow you to completely eliminate or control all distressing feelings. The steps in this article help to prevent some relaxation problems or reduce their intensity when they do occur.
Obviously, some people don’t know how to control their emotional states. It is normal and most of these individuals had parents who have emotional problem as well (inability to control one’s feelings). When you spend much of your childhood observing people who exhibit tempers, distress, and upset without demonstrating healthy resolutions to these outbursts, you may experience difficulty managing your own emotions. If you never figured out how to solve them, you need to find an effective method to rid yourself of these emotions.
Breathing the Right Way
As stated above, the solution could be found inside of you. Breathing? Surely you know how to do it isn’t? You probably breathed the “right way” as an infant and have done it wrong pretty much of your adulthood. As an infant, the baby’s stomach rises and falls with each and every breath as it goes in and out. Yet most adults breathe by holding their stomachs in and using their chests to move the air in and out. (This is probably because parents telling their kids to hold their stomachs in, so chest breathing becomes an ingrained habit.)
Breathing mostly occurs unconsciously and if you start to focus on your breath, you can quickly divert your mind from the world around you. If you think that your career, money and other things around you are very important, what will happen if you suddenly can’t breathe? Breathing should be an important focus of your life, instead of something you take for granted. Breathing method affects your health and by breathing properly, it is easier to control things that happen inside you and become more relaxed. To successfully cope with the outside world, it is important to control your inner environment.
Many people unintentionally breathe mostly through one nostril and they also tend to breathe slower when they’re distressed. As a response of stress, people tend to breathe too quickly, which often feels like the right thing to do, but it isn’t. This should be avoided since it can cause hyperventilation, a rapid breathing that causes high amount of oxygen intake. Hyperventilation can cause jitteriness, confusion, feelings of panic, rapid pulse, blurred vision, and unconsciousness.
As you can imagine, these symptoms don’t exactly help you feel better when emotional distress occurs. So, to help you to win your “battle” with your distressful emotions, there’s a better way to breathe. By practicing the following steps for five minutes per day for two weeks you can preempt an emotional upheaval. By then you will understand the technique well and are able to use it under pressure. This exercise is called abdominal breathing, and with this you will able to figure out how to breathe with your diaphragm instead of your chest, which helps you to relax properly. These are the steps:
a. Find a spot to lie down or find a large chair where you can really stretch out.
Notice the tension of your body and rate it on a 10-point scale with 1 representing little or no tension and 10 indicating the maximum imaginable amount of tension.
b. Place one hand on your stomach and take in a very slow, deep breath through your nose while attempting to fill up the lower part of your lungs first.
It’s easy to tell if you’re doing this part correctly because your hand rises slightly as you breathe in. Pause and hold the breath for a few seconds.
c. Slowly exhale, allowing the bottom portion of your lungs to exhale first and see that your hand goes down as you do.
As you exhale, imagine that your body is like a balloon filled with air that’s slowly deflating. Take a brief pause.
d. Inhale slowly and deeply while filling the lower part of your lungs first.
Sometimes it helps to inhale by counting to four slowly. Make sure that your hand rises as you inhale. Keep your chest movement to a minimum — it should raise only slightly.
e. Pause and slowly exhale again.
Try to exhale by counting to six slowly. You may start with counting to four if you need to, but counting to six becomes easier with practice.
f. Continue to breathe in this manner for about five minutes.
While you do, focus only on your breathing. If unpleasant thoughts start to interrupt, don’t exercise a mental effort to remove them, just focus on your breathing.
g. Notice the amount of tension that remains on your body and rate it on the same scale of 1 to 10 as before.
Just five minutes a day and you’re likely to find that abdominal breathing starts to reduce your stress levels and helps you eliminate emotional distress. The more you practice abdominal breathing, the lower your tension ratings are likely to be.