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Your Guide to Dating an Indian

By Colleen Crawford | Dating | Rating:

As is the case with every culture, dating someone from another ethnic group can be a bit trying. This is especially the case if that person happens to be from a nation that has extremely different customs than you have. When considering dating an Indian, there are certain things you should be aware of. Both men and women can benefit from understanding these cultural differences before going on that first date. Your guide to dating an Indian begins with understanding some common customs from the motherland.

Male Dominated Society

Any woman who is considering dating an Indian man should understand right up front that there is no equality between the sexes in India. It is still a male dominated society and women are not treated with the same dignity that they are in the western world. A woman in India still has no choice as to whom she will date or to whom she will be married and will never make decisions of any kind without the prior approval of the man of the family. If you are a single American (or UK) woman and are seriously entertaining the idea of accepting an invitation from an Indian man, be aware of the fact that you probably wonít receive candy or flowers and you will probably not be asked where youíd like to go. It needs to be said that this is meant as no disrespect to you, it is just a difference in the way things are done in India.

Before Asking and Indian Girl Out

Women in the west have placed such an emphasis on equality that sometimes they lose their softer, more feminine side in the process. For this reason many guys like to ask girls from other cultures out on dates because they defer to a manís judgment. When all is said and done, men still like to be the boss in a relationship but bear in mind that it might become necessary to get permission to date that girl. There are some definite pros and cons to dating an Indian girl and one of the pros is certainly not in the fact that the family needs to grant permission for you to date the daughter. However, on the plus side, if you are looking for a girl that isnít demanding and willing to bend toward your preferences, this would be an ideal situation.

When the First Date Becomes the Last Date

Altogether too many times when dating an Indian for the first time, that first date becomes the last date. We touched on the difference between the sexes, but there is more to the story than simple male dominance. If you look around you, you will rarely see an Indian man married to an American woman. You might see the reverse, but not as often as we would like to think. Indian men think nothing of having sex before marriage but would be reluctant to marry a woman who is not a virgin. As a matter of fact, even if that woman lost her virginity to him it would still be highly frowned upon to marry her. It is their custom to marry virgins chosen for them by their families. If you are going to date an Indian man and think there may be something for you in terms of a future together, for heavenís sake donít sleep with him!

Food for Thought

Then thereís food to consider. Did you know that most Indians are vegetarians? Should you be dating an Indian be cognizant of the fact that they do not eat beef at all, any time, for any reason. Just as Orthodox Jews donít eat pork, you will not catch an Indian eating cow. Some will eat fish, seafood and maybe occasionally chicken, but those are few and far between. Men, if you are ordering for your date, please donít order her any meat. In fact if you really want to impress her, ask her what she would like! That will be a first for sure. And ladies, if you are out with an Indian man, you can probably expect him to do the ordering. Donít be offended if he orders you a spicy meal which contains no red meat. It isnít that he is cheap Ė they just donít eat meat.

It is always difficult to date someone who comes from such a different background but almost impossible to understand someone with a culture as divergent as would be the Indian culture. This is not meant to discourage you from dating someone from India; it just serves as a guide to dating an Indian. The most important thing to remember is not to expect the date to go like a date with a fellow American. As a matter of fact, it is never a good idea to project anything on a first date, whether it is with an Indian or the boy next door. If you can understand that there will be some significant cultural differences then you can decide whether or not you want to give it a shot before you even go out. If you decide to try it, keep an open mind.





Colleen Crawford

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Comments
  • Comment #1 (Posted by Harry)
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    All these apply towards dating an Indian man, but specifically to Indian men dating other Indians. If an Indian man asks out a non-Indian, it would be safe to assume that they take a cosmopolitan view on dating and are probably part of whatever culture encourages it. Basically, if they are the sort that would actually subscribe to these comments above, you wouldn't even BE on a date with them. Basically, this article serves as a blanket statement describing Indian culture which would be irrelevant in the context of dating an actual Indian, and just serves to enforce stereotypes against modern Indians. Colleen, have you ever even dated an Indian?
     
  • Comment #2 (Posted by S)
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    I think you should avoid generalizing about cultures and need to cite some sources for your stereotypes. Is this current with India today?
     
  • Comment #3 (Posted by SadBear)
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    Blatant generational and naive logic. Stop it already.
     
  • Comment #4 (Posted by an unknown user)
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    Thank you! This is a tremendous help!
     
  • Comment #5 (Posted by an unknown user)
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    I'm seeing an Indian man and nothing that's written in this article fits him. He is very considerate, he loves meat, he thinks having sex before marriage is ok and he wants to marry someone, because he loves her. He's something special.
     
  • Comment #6 (Posted by Mandy)
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    Can someone answer this question for me, do Indian guys date black girls?
     
  • Comment #7 (Posted by Anonymous)
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    Now, the vegetarian thing is bullshit. Of 40 Indians I know, two are vegetarian and that is because one doesn't like the taste and the second is a veterinarian so she doesn't want to eat animals.
     
  • Comment #8 (Posted by jcho)
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    Absolutely absurd, entirely untrue, overly generalised and on the whole ridiculous piece. As an Indian woman, you my friend, are an uneducated racist misogynist. In the future, please keep those thoughts safely locked away in your head instead of polluting the internet with jargon. Thanks.
     
  • Comment #9 (Posted by Jeetu)
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    It is sad that Colleen being a western woman has generalized so quickly, I thought western women were much more smarter than this. Based on this article, should I generalize all western women too? No, I won't.

    Regarding the article, it seems like a historic artifact from the 1980's. India is changing, people from metropolitan cities are far more educated and open minded and they are there in western countries to stay. So why won't they settle with the right woman (from any community)? In my own case, I have been in 3 relationships, all 3 non-Indian, and I was looking seriously towards my 1st and 3rd girlfriend (2nd one was an angry one, first one turned out to be a cheat, third one similar issue). So, here you go, a good example for you and there are many out there like me.
     
  • Comment #10 (Posted by KGVP)
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    I think information for this article was collected 20years back, go to India see there are some inter caste, inter religion marriages are happening. Yes, some of the points were true once upon a time, but things changed now because of globalization, internet, IT companies. Indian society is connected to the world. Yes, there will be some opposition, Indian culture is there for thousands of year, face it with confident and win it.
     


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