Managing the Fear of Loneliness

What Is Loneliness?

Despite the hectic social life, loneliness is not a rarity. No matter what our gender, race, social status and age are, loneliness can affect us without warning. At some point of our lives, we experience some kind of loneliness, whether it is brief or very long. As an individual we strive for reassurance and companionship from others. It feels relieving to have people who understand us and can empathize our feeling.

Just because we are alone, it doesn’t mean that we are lonely. We have a limit of how long we can be alone without feeling lonely. Many people can’t stand of being alone at the home for the whole day, while some can live solitarily in a log cabin next to the lake for months. These people may spend a part of their lives by being entirely alone to, in fact, enjoy life. Alone can be defined as being physically detached from others, but it isn’t necessarily associated with sadness. On the other hand, loneliness is often associated as a discomforting awareness of being emotionally and physically alone. Loneliness is a tendency to seek companionship. For some people, loneliness can be an overwhelming feeling, due to the intense sense of isolation and emptiness. As the result, many people are getting fearful of being alone.

The Fear of Being Alone

Fear of loneliness can arise due to a number of reasons. A person may not be comfortable with him/herself and lacks the confidence of doing everything alone. Being alone can be healthy sometimes, but if it bothers a person significantly, then the counselor’s assistance may be necessary.

Career and family are two common causes of loneliness. Some people are rejected due to certain physical characteristics, such as weight or race. As the result, these people may be plagued by intense concern that they could be lonely for the rest of their lives. Many children are quietly fearful of loneliness when they move to a new school or neighborhood. People with family problems, such as lack of communication can also suffer from isolation and uncertainty. Luckily, there are ways to manage the fear of loneliness.

How to Manage Your Fear?

To deal with the fear of loneliness, you should find an activity that you enjoy most, as it can often direct your mental focus away from daily worries. It would be far better if, you choose a group activity where you can meet many people with the same interest.

Many people with fear of loneliness are introvert adults. By choice, they tend to choose solitary activities. Nevertheless, for any human being, friendship is always a desirable element. As the result, they should be honest to themselves that they need friends and take steps to get some. For example, if they love art, they should join a painting club as it often holds events in outdoor places to make paintings on certain theme. This will make you happier and increase the chance of meeting a lot of new friends, which hopefully, some of them can develop into close friendship.

Pets are also great companions during loneliest times. Many widowed individuals have one or a few pets, which can help them to feel better. You should also contact your local community service to know whether you can offer some help, as there could be people who can benefit from your time and talents. Helping people in need can give you a sense of achievement and pride, which may also lead to friendship.

It is definitely not fun being alone, but you should be aware that there are worse things. For example, you may be stuck in a painful relationship that is difficult to get out of. This kind of life can feel more miserable than being lonely, as not only you live with the person, there may not be a way to escape from the situation due to personal and financial reasons. Being tormented by the same people everyday can make you feel very depressed. With this prospect, loneliness may seem not so bad after all. One more reason why you shouldn’t be fearful.

For religious people, God is the ultimate companion. It is necessary to make daily prayer, especially during your loneliest time. Many lonely people don’t have someone that they can trust to share their thoughts and concerns. They can find comfort by spending time for praying and ask God for help. Help will come from unexpected directions, if you have faith.

Perhaps, the most important factor in battling the fear of loneliness is to realize that you’re the one who can manage your own fear. There is no permanent fix in alcohol, drugs and other persons. You need to know how to control your inner self, learn to love yourself and get connected with your inner self. If finding a friend is next to impossible, at least you should know how to enjoy your own company. Instead of thinking that you’re forced to be alone, you should believe that you choose to be alone, so you can get in touch with the most important individual in your whole universe – yourself.

Remember that a lonely situation is something that you can change and it is not necessarily permanent. You shouldn’t do something that is unreasonably demanding, it should be perfectly achievable in a reasonable amount of time. You should try to feel content with yourself, while developing good exercise and eating habits. It is also important to have restful sleep each night to maintain a balanced physical and emotional condition.

After making a proper adjustment on your life by being active emotionally and physically, you’ll be surprised to discover that fear of loneliness has melted away. You shouldn’t fantasize about having a different kind of life as there’s no such thing as a perfect life. It is ridiculous to feel depressed to see friends who are popular and seem to have friends everywhere. Often, they are more vulnerable to problems caused by intense social life, such as alcohol and drug addictions or perhaps, wearying arguments with certain people. You should always fill your life with positive thoughts, which can chase away the black cloud that seem to be persistently over you all the time.

1 comment

  1. Steve Reply
    November 26, 2012 at 4:17 am

    Thanks Susan for your lovely comment, I feel better already. I have this loneliness phobia although I am not really alone, it's the anticipation of my son leaving home in the future. So I am preparing to make myself strong and keep god and myself good company. You struck a note with inner bonding and I'll work on it and pass this good feeling to other lonely people.

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