It’s never too late to be what you might have been…
A midlife crisis is one of the most difficult things that we have to go through, and is made all the more perplexing by the fact that often it is not triggered by anything in particular other than a general sense of disappointment at life and the feeling that time is running out to start making it better. We all had hopes and dreams for what we thought life was going to be like, and if those dreams don’t line up with reality – like so often they do not then this can be somewhat distressing and upsetting.
One of the things that many of us were sure of for instance, was that by the time we were forty we would be in a relationship – and most likely settled down and with children. This then makes being single very hard when it seems like your time is running out to be with that perfect partner, and when it feels like you are losing your chance to settle down and be happy with someone you love into old age.
However that needn’t be the case, and actually there are plenty of reasons that you should be happy single no matter how old you are. Here we will look at how to enjoy life as a single forty year old and why things really aren’t all bad.
Live Your Dreams
The quote that started this article is one that most over-forties would do well to remember. When we were younger, most of us had dreams and plans for the future and keeping these in mind would give us motivation and something to work toward – in some cases it would even give us a purpose and a reason to get up in the morning. However if you flash forward a few decades and you’re forty and those dreams never became a reality then they can feel like something else entirely – a burden that you carry around with you, dreams that never became reality that can hurt just to think of.
However all this takes is a little cognitive restructuring and a little thinking. It is too late to fix what has been and gone and to change the past, however what you can always do is to change the future – no matter how old you are. As long as you’re working toward those goals then you can be happy that you have a purpose and a goal. Look at the comeback Sylvester Stallone made recently – over sixty and now a box office number one again after decades of having no career to speak of. Of course you’re not Sylvester Stallone, but it just goes to show that if you have that ‘never say die’ attitude then you can make things happen now.
This applies to your love life – so get out there and look for that partner that makes you happy and that turns you on because it’s still possible. But it also applies to your career and your ambitions – and if you’re single then you will have even more time to look into that. Always wanted to be an actor? Well they need older actors too – so just get some acting lessons. Always wanted to write a book? Well now’s the time. Stop looking backwards and start looking forward because really you have nothing to lose – and now you know how important it is not to have any more regrets.
If your concern is dating then it’s time to get back on the horse and back in the game. No doubt this can be a daunting process if it’s been a long time, but there are a lot of encouraging things to bear in mind. First of all, bear in mind that there are lots and lots of older people in the dating game these days – both as a result of people living longer and as a result of the high rates of divorce. Finding a partner these days may come with a few added strings, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find someone relatively easily and be happy together. The other thing to bear in mind is that there are lot of things in place to help you find love again at this age – for instance there are many over 40s clubs and bars, and on top of that there are many websites for online dating and for online dating specifically for the over 40s.
If you are going to get back into dating then it’s important to look good and this will help you to enjoy life as you get older too. This means working out and getting into shape and this can help you to look and feel more like thirty and to give you a body that you might have had once before (or better). At the same time you should spend a little more money on your appearance – that’s another advantage you can have over the younger competition so dress well and dress smart and spend a little on moisturizers, makeup for women and other cosmetic products that can help to hide your years a bit. You’ll look good, so you’ll feel good too – and other people will notice.
Take ‘You’ Time
Remember when you first got into a serious long-term relationship? Chances are that you loved the companionship and the feeling of being loved, but at the same time you probably found that you missed some elements of being single. If it’s been a long time then you might have forgotten what those things you missed about being single were… so if it appeals to you consider going traveling, writing that book, or meeting new single people. Or alternatively take this opportunity to change your property and to decorate your home the way you want to so it reflects you. Later on in life you could design a pretty nice apartment or house that really is the property of your dreams, and you can fill it with things that you love.
Socializing is an important way to feel better about being single. It’s most likely intimacy and company that you miss about being in a relationship, but to an extent you can get these things from your friends. So make sure you spend time with other people – and importantly make sure that that time you spend is spent also with other singles sometimes. This way you can all go out together and enjoy life where friends come first rather than constantly having someone else’s marriage rubbed in your face.