Anger is not a character flaw. It is a human nature. Even the most patient ones among us get angry at some point or the other. In fact acknowledging your anger and expressing it is a good way to vent pent up feelings of resentment and bitterness. The problem arises when anger takes control of your life and damages your relationships and even your health and mental well being. The problem is that it is not possible for everyone to agree on everything. There are sure to be dissentions and differences. That is part and parcel of life.
If allowed to go unchecked, anger can create feelings of sadness, isolation and irritability. It can cause head and shoulder pain and migraines. It can even give rise to violent behavior. So you see this emotion is something that has to be dealt with carefully. How can you deal with anger effectively?
Understand the root cause of your anger. It could be a person, an event or may be some memory from the past. Ask yourself some questions just like a therapist or GP would ask you. Is your anger related to the present or is it due to something that happened in the past? Is stress the reason for your anger? Do you have extra work pressure or are you juggling for several chores at home? Are you worried about kids or finance? Are you going through a rough patch in your relation with your spouse? Whatever the reason may be, acknowledging it is the first step towards healing.
Now that you have identified the trigger for your anger, deal with it. If you are stressed out because of your work load, meet your boss and explain that the load is too much for you to bear. He may be able to arrange someone to assist you. If house work is getting on your nerves, allot chores. Get your kids and spouse to help you so that you don’t have to put in as much effort as you do now.
Don’t forget to pamper yourself once in a while. Feeling good about oneself gives a boost to the self esteem and helps to overcome negative emotions. Go to the salon or get a massage done. Go out with friends and family or you can also do some shopping for yourself. These are great ways to unwind.
Find a good and interesting hobby for yourself. It is a great way to release tension and pent up frustrations. You can read or do some gardening or volunteer work.
Remember, anger can stem from feeling tired and worn out. Diet and exercise play an important role in maintaining overall health so don’t neglect them. Eat healthy food rich in nutrients and low on fat. Make sure that you get plenty of sleep because lack of sleep can leave you irritated and edgy.
Breathing techniques are a great way to calm down when you feel angry. Take a deep breath in and hold for two to three minutes and then release it. Repeat this for a couple of times and you will feel yourself relaxing. Practice this when you have to confront a situation which makes you angry or upset. By calming down you will be able to think rationally and can make good decisions as well.
If all else fails, consult a therapist. There are several therapies which help people to deal with their anger. Your therapist should be able to suggest one which suits your temperament.