First, we need to define what ego means. Ego is a concept of how you feel inside you. It is influenced by things that happen in your life. It represents what seems to be the reason and common sense. It is a feeling that is totally unconscious and serves as the source of instinctive impulses that demand satisfaction. People have different egos. This is because there are different factors that influence the ego. It starts from the very early stages of infancy to what you are now as an adult.
We were born without any ego. So as a baby, we didn’t have one. We were innocent to feel the real world, and as babies we were just dependent on our mothers. We still didn’t know how to distinguish ourselves from her and others.
However, as we start to grow up, our ego starts to develop. We develop more and more of a sense of self as we face reality. Gradually, as we grow and interact with the world, we go through the stages of ego development. As very young kids, we were impulsive in our behavior and could be controlled by punishment, rewards or admonishments. The ego was always a case of ‘I’; because as a very young child that was how you understood your life. As teenagers, we are now more aware of all our surroundings. We interact with more people, voice out our views and start asserting our independence. As we grow to be young adults we have more self confidence to handle problems on our own. We are capable to distinguish right from wrong. At this stage, we are capable to work, and successfully achieve our goals. We have a sense of responsibility to do what is good in our life. We need to be competent to stay at par with others.
As an adult, we become more matured in our thoughts and behavior. We have accepted everything that became parts of our lives.
The stages of ego development are at par with our growth. Each stage is different from the other as we grow; meaning, we acquire more characteristic traits that we had the previous stage. The ego should develop for the better as each stage of development is met.
But, it will be wise to remember that our psychological traits may influence the ego. If you are more emotional, the ego gets hurt. If you are hard and stubborn the ego is proud. If you try to understand yourself more and your reactions to things around you, then perhaps you will understand that your ego is really about you. It was how you were brought up, how you learned things as you grew up and how you were able to react and process these things in your mind.
As they said, the ego is not bad at all. Having it is normal. It’s just the matter of determining how to let go of your ego in situations that have no need for it, or to have it as well if the situation calls for it.