Everyone knows that one of the best ways to tell if someone’s interested in you, and by extension one of the best ways to let someone else know that you’re interested in them, is to use eye contact. They say the eyes are the window to the soul which is why it’s no surprise that they’re one of the best ways to let someone know how you feel, or to get into their pants for that matter… Once you’ve got the knack it’ll be up to you whether you use it for good or evil…
The first form of eye contact flirting is simply the extended gaze. This can be done at any time and conveys a powerful emotion – in the context this will hopefully obviously be romance or lust (not a threat…). Holding someone’s gaze is a powerful tool in many scenarios and can show seriousness and intensity – it can turn casual playful flirting into something more serious and indicates that you really aren’t fooling around. While the object of your desire is talking to you then, look deep into their eye as though to exam their iris and they’ll instantly notice that you’re paying more attention to them than usual and should find themselves ‘drawn in’ (unless you’re repulsive). Likewise if you notice the opposite sex examining your eyes while you speak then there’s a good chance that they’re trying to tell you something. Chances are that conversation will cease once sustained eye contact has been achieved – enjoy it as you’re now sharing a ‘moment’. From here you can either go for the kiss or break away eye contact. If you hold it for too long then you’ll mostly come across as creepy. On the other hand if your opposite number breaks off the contact immediately or looks around awkwardly then you know not to try it again… at least until you’ve bought a few more drinks.
Eye contact flirting is also a great tool for long-range flirting. The above technique works particularly well in situations where you’re already talking to the person you fancy – maybe you’re chatting over a shared drink in a club and want to take it to the dance floor, or maybe they’re friends and you’ve decided you want something more. Eye contact flirting can also be used more casually however to signal to someone across a bar or dance floor that you’ve noticed them and you approve… For starters, just trying to establish eye contact can be a good start, and if you do this a couple of times then they’ll start to get the impression they’re being watched which is either very disturbing or very flattering depending on the situation. Hopefully it’ll be the latter. To help make sure it is, make sure that when they see you you flash them a smile. Trying pathetically to be noticed across the room while pretending you’re not interested is school-boy stuff; if you give them a smile however it shows a) romantic intentions and b) confidence and friendliness.
Once you’ve made eye contact and smiled a couple of times you should be able to asses the situation. If they smile back then chances are you’re in there and you should probably go over and introduce yourself. Don’t think of a cheesy line, just think of a reason to go and talk. Again, as with all these eye contact flirting techniques they can work both ways and if you catch someone else using them on you you need to be able to identify them for what they are. So if you suspect someone is eying you up try smiling at them and see what response you get.
Sometimes however your secret admirer will be of the shy variety and they may look away every time you catch them gazing. Fortunately then there’s another more subtle eye contact flirting method that allows you to determine if someone is looking at you more than the normal amount, is to try directing their attention. What’s meant by this is that you behave in a way that should provoke a response from them. I don’t mean spitting on a bar tender (though that would probably work), but rather something like checking your watch or looking out the window. The reason this works is that our curiosity kicks in under such circumstances and if you see someone check the time it’s always very hard not to do the same. Similarly if you see someone look out the window you will likely feel compelled to look too to see what’s going on out there. So to pull this one off, try looking out the window then look to see if they do the same – if they do then chances are that they were looking at you. Time to go and say hello…
There’s also a similar eye contact flirting method that you can use on the dance floor and simply says ‘your hot’. To pull this one off, first establish eye contact with the person you like the looks of by looking into their eyes. This is just to get their attention. Now with them looking at you, break eye contact and look down the length of their body to their feet then back up again at their eyes and smile. This works as it show’s them essentially that you’ve looked them up and down as if to check their body and their dancing and that you approve. Now they know you like them and if you head towards them it’s up to you if they reciprocate or move on.
The brilliant thing about this ‘long distance’ eye contact flirting is that it doesn’t involve any effort or commitment on your part. This means firstly that if they’re not interested you can easily distance yourself from it and you don’t lose face. What it also means however is that you can try it several times throughout the night. Flirting is a game of numbers and the more people you can try to impress the quicker, the higher your chances of getting a hit are.