Divorce is always going to be ugly and unpleasant, but in many cases it needn’t be as destructive as it often becomes. By working with your partner instead of working against them, by reading up on all the relevant information regarding your divorce and by getting expert legal advice and counselling, you should be able to make everything go as smoothly as possible. Below are some things to avoid doing and some tips to help ensure you do not.
Making enemies – Obviously in a divorce you’re unlikely to be on best terms with your ex partner. However once you’ve made the agreement to get separated you should act like adults and work together to make sure that everyone involved is as happy as possible afterwards. Don’t be malicious then as you’ll only add fuel to the fire and cause her to be more malicious too. If you try to be the bigger man and be apologetic rather than aggressive, then you’re more likely to settle more of your situation out of court and come to solutions that will suit you both. Think about things that you’re united on – helping the children for example – and focus on that putting your differences aside as far as possible. Apart from anything else being kinder to your wife is just the more honourable thing to do – and you will be living with yourself for a long time to come.
Lack of research and advice – Unfortunately for men, the law tends to take the side of the women when it comes to divorce. That’s in terms of the financial settlement, custody of the children, and everything else. It’s important then that you research as much as possible in order to be able to fight for your rights and stand your ground. When going through a divorce then, you need to get yourself expert advice and representation, as well as doing lots of your own research. Don’t just accept what you get told – question, research and get advice and then make a well informed case for what you want from the divorce.
Punishing your children – Divorces can be hard on children, and often parents get so wrapped up in their own emotions – anger and possessiveness usually – that they forget to focus on their children’s. While arguing for custody of your children then, ask yourself – is that really what’s best for them? Or is it just what you want?
Keeping accounts open – When you suspect that you’re heading for a divorce, one of the first things you should do is to close any and all joint accounts and to cancel bills that you pay jointly. If you do not then a spurned lover might start spending that money while they can. Speak to you partner about splitting that money 50/50 and close it as soon as possible.
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