Mature Dating – Love in Old Age

Love in old age is something that we rarely see lots of. It is never seen on television or in the movies, and many younger couples seem to even deny to themselves that it goes on at all. This is an unfair representation however as love in old age is just as valid as in youth, and if anything it is actually more important to find companionship as you get older.

However there are still problems with mature dating that make it more complicated and less publicised. The first problem is that the amount of years we’ve been alive drastically increases the amount of baggage we are likely to have from previous relationships etc. If you are in old age and you do not have a partner, then chances are you are widowed or divorced, possibly with children or grandchildren and with all of the issues and complications that go with those things.

This means that you do not just date a person but their whole history and that can make things harder. Similarly though you also have more trouble finding someone suitable for you as there are simply less people available on the market – and fewer places to meet them. At the same time your lack of energy and mobility is likely to mean that it is even harder to get out there and meet people, while you are also likely to have become accustomed to a certain routine that you are comfortable and happy with and unlikely to want to disrupt. It can then seem like a big upheaval to introduce someone new into your life, or to start going out more.

Additionally, as you get older your libido inevitably diminishes and you start to be less interesting in, and capable of, sex. This can take some of the passion out of a relationship but what’s left is the companionship and friendship that is far more important at this age.

These are reasons that mature dating is harder and less common. However they are not reasons that it can not or should not happen, and it is still very much possible to overcome or sidestep these obstacles. If you do then you can give yourself a new ‘lease of life’ and start enjoying your elder years. If you are staying single in memory of a previous partner then you should know that that is not what they would want for you, and that it is possible to have a bit of fun and companionship without ‘replacing’ the love of your life. Even if you are just ‘very good friends’ it will mean you have someone to look after to you and to go to see films with and eat out at restaurants with. And as you get older this will also mean you can look after each other thereby avoiding becoming a burden.

If you are recently single, or even if you have been single for a long time then you might be telling yourself that you can not go out to meet people – but there is no reason you can not be open to the idea. At the same time if you want a more controlled way to find potential partners then you could sign up to a dating website and browse them at your leisure from the safety of your home – and it is likely to be a bit of fun if nothing else (if you are not so computer savvy then ask a younger relative to help out – they are sure to be eager to). Alternatively you could try something really daring and go on a singles’ holiday – if it does not work out then you will still have had a great experience and what do you have to lose?

Once you meet someone that you are interested in then you can be as serious or otherwise as you like. Do not feel that this has to end in marriage or that sex even has to be involved – at this age you make the rules and if you set clear guidelines at the start then you can enjoy a relationship that will give you both what you need without getting too complicated. If you agree from the start that you are not going to live together then what does it matter that you both have families and complicated histories? If you agree you are not going to have sex then you are still honouring your past relationships while avoiding the sexual issues that come with old age. What you are left with is someone to cuddle up to at night in front of the TV and to go for days out with or just to tell about your day.

You might have been out of the game for a while, but there is no reason that it is too late to get back on the horse and if you do then you are likely to find that the benefits drastically outweigh the difficulties as you find a partner to share your life with.

1 comment

  1. Anonymous Reply
    May 4, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    The content of the article was very shallow and the tone was a bit patronizing. If someone has made it onto the net to ask this question I think they are looking for deeper coverage. Apart from the word sex the above conversation could be overheard at the vicarage after church on Sundays. Perhaps you get some people who have gone through the experience to write the article rather than a young person who seems to be squirming at the topic!

    Thanks for having a go though….

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