If you are in a happy relationship and you are yearning for marriage but your guy does not seem as keen then this can be a very upsetting and distressing situation as you are left just ‘waiting’ for him to grow up and commit to a life together with you. You might even be concerned that he is never going to get around to it. It is never a good idea to try to force a man into marriage if he is not ready as he will likely go running scared, but it can not hurt to subtly influence him.
So how do you influence a guy to marry you? Well the old trick that many women use is to leave wedding brochures around the apartment, but this is about as subtle as hitting him over the head with it and so can be just as likely to scare him away.
Rather than focussing on the wedding itself then, try to focus on the lifestyle that such a commitment would bring you both and try to show him that that could be a good thing and something he would quite like.
The problem is that at the moment he likely spends a lot of time with single friends and watching films and playing games about troubled lone heroes. In this world the idea of marriage can seem very scary and alien and like something that would put a dampener on his fun.
Imagine a different scenario, where he is surrounded by friends who are all settling down and getting married and he is left the odd one out, and where his heroes are the likes of Hugh Grant and Carry Grant. In such a situation he would then begin to feel like he was the odd one out for not being a romantic and getting married and sharing a house and life with the woman he loves.
So the trick then is to make this his world. Make sure you invite a lot of your friends round who are either married or in serious relationships and make sure the four of you have a great time together. Do this regularly and make sure he starts to enjoy hanging out with other couples. At the same time show him around houses that are likely to appeal to him more than his current flat, spend time with your parents and talk about getting a dog. This way he will see all the things he could have with you that he does not have now and his current existence might start to seem a little ‘empty’.
While you show him the allure of married life you also need to end the temptation of the bachelor lifestyle. As such then when his friends are giving him a hard time make sure you are there for him and are supportive and loving. Similarly make sure that when he is playing on his Xbox or watching James Bond you interrupt him by coming out in your lingerie.
If you have an ‘inside agent’, i.e. a friend of his that you can trust and that you know likes you, then you can also talk to them and try to get them to influence him to pop the question or at least ask questions to get him thinking about it. This way it will not scare him away as it is not coming from you, but at the same time he will be forced to confront the idea and start coming to terms with it.
Another tricky move is to organise a holiday together and to make it amazing. Take the time living together away from everything to show him how blissful a life with you could be and to get him thinking. When you are at home make sure you spend more and more time at his flat and vice versa to make the idea of marriage less of a transition. If you already live together then make sure you spend more and more time together and make the room more and more couply in ways he might secretly enjoy – ‘his and hers’ towels and bath mats, a joint answer message and nights spent spooning naked. Just try not to ‘overcrowd him’ as you might get the opposite reaction and find he starts pushing you away to get space.
Finally just be the best girlfriend you can possibly be. Make sure you always look as good as you can so that he wants you physically and emotionally (a lot of men think with their dick, but there is no reason their dick can not start telling him ‘marry this woman, she is a keeper!’). Make sure that he loves spending time with you and that you are going out of your way where possible to make him happy. Not only will he feel a sense of gratitude (with gratitude comes debt…) but also he will feel that you are someone he could really spend the rest of his life with.