The difference between someone who compliments you and someone who supplements you is a subtle but important one. While it might not be immediately obvious how these are not the same, they are actually world’s apart and will mean all the difference for your relationship.
If someone is complimenting you it means that they are suited to you perfectly, that they are the same as you in the ways that count and that they are different in the ways that count too. Someone who compliments you is like the other side of the same coin and helps keep you on your feet while highlighting your good points. This is a match that improves you and that seems like a natural fit both for you and for others on the outside looking in. Someone who supplements you however is different in that they do not improve the relationship as much as add to it. In this way you might still be in love and very happy, but at the same time the two of you somehow do not fit together. A supplement in a magazine is something that comes with the magazine. It is additional, but not crucial. However it is a new editor or design that compliments the magazine and that is what really matters.
In other words, is the person you are with what was missing from your life? Or are they existing separately to you more like an ‘add on’? Yes it is still a fairly abstract concept, but it is something only you can know when you think about how you are with your partner.
While you can be perfectly happy with someone who supplements you, it is the relationships where two people truly compliment each other that end up lasting and being the ‘classic’ romances. So how do you find that?
Well first of all, be honest with yourself and refuse to ‘settle’. Someone might be perfectly nice, but if they do not truly compliment you then they are better off with someone else and so are you. Do not be afraid of the initial pain of breaking up then as it is necessary to find that special someone who truly compliments your personality. Explain it to your partner as best as you can and then be more discriminatory as you look for your new romance. We know when we are lying to ourselves, so corny as it is follow your heart and do what you know is right.
The next most important thing to look for is chemistry. This too is hard to miss and hard to deny, and if you have genuine chemistry with someone it will be obvious – as well as to those on the outside. You will bicker, debate, joke and underlying it all will be the knowledge that you love each other and respect each other. You also need someone who is willing to call you on your mistakes and your stupid moments in order to get something from the relationship – not someone who is so intent on avoiding conflict that they do not come forward with their thoughts and criticisms. If your relationship is going to compliment/improve you, then they need to be honest and they need to be themselves. With someone who really compliments you you should find that you never run out of conversation and that a real energy flies between you.
Finally think about what you want and what you do not want from your future. This can actually be very hard as very few of us really know what we want from life when we really think about it. At the same time though we have a general idea – whether we are success oriented, family oriented or just in life to have fun. Then honestly appraise your partner to find out if you think they want the same things and whether the two of you could work together in the long run.
If you find someone who really compliments you then they will work with your future plans but also provide you with someone to bounce off. Someone you can talk to and someone who frustrates you but all in a good way. That is the kind of relationship that sells novels, and you should not really settle for anything less.