How to Be a Good Wife

Every woman knows how to be the best wife for their husband. The perfect example was found in the film Stepford Wives, and all men will happily explain what it is they want from a woman. The perfect wife (to their mind) will have dinner on the table at 7pm and will have the kids in bed by eight. The house is spotlessly clean, and sex is regular twice a day (once in the morning and once before bed). Blowjobs are abundant and so is kinky lingerie and handcuffs.

Outside the household she will follow two steps behind her husband and will always look immaculate with straightened or curled hair, a layer of makeup and a figure hugging dress that shows off her physique. Heels must always be 3 inches + (unless this makes her bigger than her man) to ensure that all of his male friends are jealous (she must be hotter than all of their wives). She is certainly not allowed to gain weight or to appear any older.

Underwear at all occasions should either be matching or absent. Meanwhile the perfect wife’s manner must be modest and she must not speak out of line. She should be trained to ensure that everything her man says is hilarious. Most of what comes out of the perfect wife’s mouths should be either compliments or generous laughter. Once the time is right, the perfect wife must acknowledge that she is old, and gladly hand over her mantle to a younger and more attractive alternative.

Of course most women are not okay with this (oddly) and the fact of the matter is, though they would never tell you, neither are most men. Most men do not want a mindless zombie who will bow to their every whim, and nor do they want a relationship with someone who never argues. Men actually quite like a woman who argues, and if they had could have you in kinky lingerie every night then there’d be nothing left exciting about their birthdays. At the same time whether or not a man wants a Stepford wife, they certainly should not get one as it simply is not healthy. All the above would just lead a man to become (more) selfish, big headed, probably overweight and without drive or purpose.

A good wife then should challenge her husband. You should tell him when he looks bad in his suit and you should shake your head when he tells a bad joke. These are the things that will make him love you and respect you, and the things that will make sure he does not walk around looking like a pratt full of false-confidence. But of course you knew all that.

That does not mean that the Stepford wives had it all wrong though. Just as it is important to ensure that you are his equal, so you must allow him to be yours. Do not crush his every hope and dream, and remember that it is nice sometimes to give him a blowjob. Do not let him walk all over you, but do not get too caught up in too much self righteousness either.

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