Being approachable is a great gift. It means that when someone looks at you they feel able to talk to you, and like you are someone who will be receptive to their attempts at conversation. This is useful for many reasons and it generally makes life much more pleasant and enjoyable.
Being approachable means that you interact more with people, and that your days are filled with little moments where people come up to you and talk about the weather, or ask for directions or advice. This peppers your day with lots of little social interactions you wouldn’t otherwise have had and it will generally raise your mood and ensure that you never spend too long in silence. It can also help you to learn a lot, or even to meet new people and make new friends or acquaintances. This makes you feel more connected to your community but it also has countless uses – for networking, for getting information, or even for promoting your interests (imagine marketing in a world where people come to you instead of having to chase them down the road). It is a highly powerful tool that will also make you much happier.
More to the point though, the reason that a lot of people want to look approachable is that it can greatly help your romantic life. The hardest part of meeting people of the opposite sex is getting up the courage to go over to them and strike up a conversation – however if you look open and friendly the good news is that you won’t have to – instead they will likely come to you. If you are at a party then, and leaning up against a wall, if you look approachable and chatty then it won’t be long before someone comes up to you and asks who you know, whether you’ve been there before, or whether you’ve tried the punch… and from there if you hit it off romance could flourish. It makes the whole thing much easier.
So how do you make the transition and become someone who is ‘approachable’? Here we will look at several methods you can use to help encourage people to come and talk to you.
Mind your body language: You might not realise it, but you give out a lot of information from your body language. If you are shy or have had a bad day – then people will likely know it just from looking at you. Many people have a ‘closed off’ body language without even meaning to and they communicate this by crossing their arms or crossing their legs, by looking down, by frowning and by generally giving off the impression that they don’t want to be disturbed. To avoid this try to think of yourself as ‘open’ so use big gestures and don’t use any stance that covers part or all of your body.
Crossed arms are the most sure fire way to send off the signal that you don’t want to be disturbed and people will pick up on that easily so it should be avoided. At the same time though, having just one arm infront of you – holding a drink or another item – can be perceived as a ‘partial’ barrier. Instead keep your arms behind you or down by your sides, and keep some space between your legs when you are standing. Leaning and looking comfortable will also make you more approachable as the opposite can look rigid and stressed. Even your clothes can send of signals in a manner similar to your body language – for example having a roll neck or scarf can be seen as protective and make you less approachable – as can wearing anything that covers your head or face such as a hat or sun glasses.
Approach others: However the real beauty of body language is that it’s unconscious. Thus if you are nervous or don’t want to talk to people – they will pick up on this without your having to say so and even if you are trying to hide it. If you are socially confident and forthcoming however then people will pick up on this too. In order to get people to approach you, you need to fit the latter description and that means over coming any social anxieties you have. The best way to do this? To approach other people. At the same time if people see you approaching and talking to others then they will take this as an indication that you are open to being approached and spoken to yourself, so make sure to spread yourself around and start giving off that vibe.
Tip: Being approachable can also change from person to person. For instance if you look very ‘gothic’ in your dress sense then most people will likely not find you approachable, but you might be highly approachable to other ‘goths’. This also works with genders, so if you want to look approachable to the opposite sex, try to be seen mingling with members of the opposite sex. For instance if you are a guy and you want to ‘pull’ on a night out, go out with a group of girls and you will instantly seem more approachable.
Isolate yourself: While it’s important to be seen to be social in order to look approachable, you also need to give people the opportunity to approach you and this is particularly true when you are trying to attract members of the opposite sex. No one’s going to approach you if you are in a large group in order to ask for your phone number as there will be a big audience. As such then, you should occasionally separate yourself from the group in order to make yourself more easily approachable.
Smile: Smiling is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal for any social interaction. Smile and instantly people will think you’re a more friendly and a more open person, and that you’re currently in a good mood too. Smiling then will make you far more approachable and mean people are far more likely to strike up a conversation with you.
Make eye contact: When someone is thinking about approaching you they might try to make eye contact to essentially ‘suss’ out the situation. If you look down or away when they try to attract your attention this will make you look unreceptive and uninterested (it can also be quite rude). As such you need to be ready to receive eye contact and to smile in order to invite people over. At the same time you can use this to get the attention of people you want to come over and it can be used proactively. If you want someone to approach you and don’t want to go over to them for whatever reason, try to establish eye contact and then smile, and they will likely take it as a green light to come over.
Look good: Finally to be approachable you should also be well presented. This makes you look more up-together and means you are generally less likely to be insane. It also means that if someone is looking for advice or information that you will look more likely to be able to provide that. Make sure you always take time and care with your appearance then and choose your clothes carefully to make you look like the kind of person you’d approach.
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