When Is it Time to Start a Family?

This is a question that a lot of couples ask themselves. The truth is the answer depends on many factors and can not be given as a general statement. Depending on the goals a couple has set for themselves, having children may be something they will want to put off for 10 more years or it could be something they want to get started on right away. In addition, there is really no way to 100% plan for when you will or won’t become pregnant, not unless you are totally abstinent. Sometimes things just happen that are out of our control. However, a person who is acting responsibly will usually try to plan the most ideal time to become pregnant and start a family.

Financial Considerations

One thing that is very important when trying to decide when to start a family is a couple’s current state of finances. Some couples choose to become well established before introducing a child into the picture. It is very expensive to raise a child and most of us would like to be able to give our child a nice life, complete with a great education and everything else that is needed for a successful life. For this reason many couples focus on meeting a specific financial goal before deciding to have children. Perhaps they set a certain amount of money they would like to have in savings before they begin trying to conceive. Maybe they want to wait until their business takes off if they are self employed. No matter what the situation, waiting until you are fairly stable in matters of money is a very good suggestion.

Time Constraints

If both the man and woman have careers outside of the home then having children may be something they wait to do until a specific work related goal has been met. For example, most women who are in the height of their careers do not want to stop midstream to have a child. These women will typically want to reach a certain milestone in their career before they start thinking of taking off to start a family. This is also true of younger couples who are still getting their college educations and working as well. Time is something that there will never seem to be quite enough of once a new baby arrives and if a couple is not keen on the idea of hiring babysitters for the better part of the day then they may choose to wait until at least a 6 month window of opportunity shows up for either of them to stay home and care for the baby.

Physical Considerations

One problem a lot of super couples who have mapped out their lives do not take into consideration is the physical decline in terms of energy once a certain age is reached. If a couple waits too long to begin a family then they may not be up to the task of running after a toddler. It is common knowledge that a person in his/her early 20’s or 30’s will usually be a bit more energetic than a person in his/her 40’s. Then look a little further into the future and think of having a 10 year old child at the age of 50. While this is not uncommon and a lot of people do start their families later in life, recent polls have shown that many of them would rethink the decision if given the chance to do it over. Another thing that women should consider is not to putting off becoming pregnant for too long. Each year after a woman reaches the age of 30 her eggs become less viable. Some women wait too long and then end up having trouble or even being unable to conceive.

The Single Woman Who Would Like to Have a Child

Not everyone who wants to begin a family is a member of a couple. Today it is very common for single career oriented women to plan families. If a woman is single and has already established herself in terms of finances then there is no reason that she should not be able to become pregnant and start a family. The most important thing for these women to consider is what kind of support network they will have after the child is born. There are millions of single mothers who raise children all the time but most of the time they would still prefer to have someone, be it a family member or friend, available to help with the child when needed. This is not to say that a strong woman is not perfectly capable of having a child and raising him or her independently but having help is always a plus.

Whether you decide to start your family in your 20’s, 30’s or 40’s one thing remains constant. Having a child and starting a family is a huge responsibility. No one should make the decision to start a family until he/she is sure that he/she is up to the task. A child is not like a puppy, you cannot simply re-home him or her if times get tough. Having a child is a commitment that lasts a lifetime and for this reason every couple should be certain they are ready to take on a commitment such as this before they begin trying to have a child. Starting a family is not something that should be taken lightly. All issues should be discussed and gone over carefully to be sure that every one is on board and that there are no reservations. In addition, it is never a good idea for a couple to get pregnant in order to help save a marriage or relationship. The best time to start a family is when the relationship is solid and already well established.

1 Comment

  1. Very sound advice, particularly on starting a family and relationships et cetera, people are individuals but in general, for the most part, this article is an extremely accurate reflection of the dynamics surrounding the issues.

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