Men are not as complicated as women would like to think they are. They can be mysterious. They can be assertive. They can also be shy and unsure of how to approach the fairer sex which is why women think they are mysterious. The men of romantic comedy movies, romance novels and fairy tales do exist. You just have to know how to coax that side of them to the surface and get them to pursue you.
Some women seem to have all the luck when it comes to men chasing them. You probably know a few women who are like that. You sit on the sidelines while they seem to have a date every weekend of their lives. Frankly, it sucks. But you don’t have to be the one sitting at home consistently painting your nails watching whatever new reality show happens to be on the tube on Saturday night. You need to know how to make a man chase you and with a little effort, you can make it happen.
Men Do Like Assertive Women
There is a reason why the shy wallflower at the dance is not dancing: she’s not assertive enough. We are not talking about being overly assertive and emasculating the guy. We are talking about someone who is comfortable enough in her own skin to be able to communicate with a man on a date. While you do not want to be so assertive that you don’t let him get a word in edgewise, you need to be able to carry on a conversation. You are far more articulate than you could ever know, until you try.
Think of some things you’d like to know about him so that you have questions to ask him on the first date. This will help him loosen up and be able to talk in a relaxed manner about himself, his life, and his family. As you listen to him, don’t be afraid to make a comment about what he is telling you and showing interest. Even if he is the most boring guy on earth, he will appreciate the effort that you put into the conversation. You may discover that there is a lot more to him than meets the eye. It’s funny how often men can surprise us.
Don’t be afraid to tell the guy that he looks terrific, or you like his cologne but don’t go over the top. You should mean whatever compliment you choose and your sincerity will show. Compliment him on the qualities that you truly find attractive. If he should happen to ask for your advice while you are on that first date, give it to him. This will allow the two of you to lay the foundation of a trusting relationship, even if you are allowing him to chase you. Part of the fun of dating is building that relationship and if you cannot do that from the start, you have no chance for a future. Hey, you’ve got to sift through the sand to find the diamond right?
Mysterious Women Are Interesting
Before you can unload your deepest, darkest secrets to the guy you are trying to get to chase you, hold on for just a moment. You want to share a part of yourself with this delicious specimen in front of you but let’s be honest, he still needs something to work for. Men prefer women who do not spill their entire life story on the first date. They want to be able to learn about you slowly. In order to allow that to happen and to keep his interest, keep some thoughts to yourself and allow him to unwrap you slowly. Remember, if you like him, you’re going to have plenty of time to tell him about that one time…
Think of yourself like the layers of an onion. Give him that outer layer first, the one immediately visible to the world. This is the layer that you use in your professional life and when you go out into the world. This is not the real you, but the mask. As he peels away that first layer, he will find the layer that you show to your friends and acquaintances, giving him just a little bit more of the real you inside. The next layer is the one you show to your closest friends, then your family layer, and so on. By the time he gets to the most intimate layer, you will have built up a trusting and loving relationship. It’s a natural progression but he’s got to chase the whole way.
Refraining From Sex Is Really a Plus
In reality, most guys don’t want to have sex on the first, second, or even third date. They like assertive women and they like independent women. But they also prefer women who allow them to woo them and chase them. Draw him into the chase by being subtle. Do not be overly sexual at the beginning. You can hold his hand, you can gently touch a knee during conversation, you can lay your hand or cheek on his shoulder. The body language should say ‘I like you’. It should not say ‘I want to jump you.’ If you are exuding the second phrase, you’ll probably go on one or two dates, give in to the sex, and never see him again.
The more you tell a man ‘no’ the more they want what they are asking for. If you are not comfortable with the idea of sex with him early in the relationship, stick to your guns. Playing hard to get and allowing him to chase you gives you the opportunity to warm up to the idea of a longer lasting relationship. If you explain to him why you are not ready, he will appreciate it, but he’ll also keep up the chase because he knows that when you do finally go all the way, it will be that much more special.
Appearance and Grooming Is Everything
Men truly appreciate it when women take the time to make themselves look good for their date or even for a casual trip to the mall. Even if you do not consider yourself to be the most gorgeous woman on the face of the earth, looking good will bolster your confidence and it will make you feel like a million bucks. If you are confident about yourself and your appearance, then you will be more attractive to him on both the physical and mental levels. He’ll be proud to walk around with you on his arm.
Additionally, smelling good is a plus. A nice perfume or body spray is appealing to a man on the subconscious level. He will want to get closer to you to simply breathe in your scent. If you really want to catch his attention, wear something with a strawberry or vanilla scent to keep him interested and close.
Even in today’s modern age, men still enjoy chasing the woman they are interested in. Don’t be afraid to let him chase you. If the relationship is meant to be, it will happen.