Dating a Jew

Falling in Love

Falling in love can be a beautiful thing and it leaves you feeling on top of the world. Often when you start dating your perfect match, you do not think about anything but each other and how much you love each other. Things like politics and religion do not come into your thoughts until later in the relationship. So it may not be until after you are madly in love and certain that you have found the perfect match that the thought of religion comes to the forefront. If you are of different religions it can cause some obstacles in your relationship.

Most people believe that love can conquer everything and even with a different religious background, the right relationship can work out. A relationship with differing religions can definitely work out if you both use common sense and respect. There are a few tips that can help you both learn not just to accept your differences but embrace your differences. The most important thing to remember is that you love each other. If your partner is a Jew, he or she is really no different than the rest of the world and they are still the same person you fell in love with.

Don’t Have Stereotypes

Jews in the world have often been given many different stereotypes through the years. They have been referred to as boring, tedious, cheap and frugal and there are many people who believe these stereotypes. When you date a Jew, you must be able to put aside any stereotype that you do have. These kinds of thoughts will definitely affect the relationship if not even put an end to it. While you may look at your partner and not think of any stereotypes, when you consider the entire Jewish culture you may be a little hesitant.

The truth is the Jewish culture has a very long and interesting history dating back many centuries. They are a proud people who love their God and each other. You should try to set any stereotypes aside and embrace this culture for its vast historically nature. It is often true that you will find the vast majority of Jews to be nothing like the stereotypes they have been given over the years.

Respect Differences

If one of you is Jewish and the other one is not, there are bound to be some differences of opinion when it comes to certain issues. The best thing that you can do under these circumstances is to simply agree that you can both have your own separate opinion. You both should be able to feel comfortable talking about these issues without being offended or getting angry. If you are the type of person who easily gets angry then you will certainly need to work on this. You will have a very difficult time keeping a relationship together if you start letting any of your religious differences come in the way of your relationship.

Learn About Judaism

The best thing that you can do to help your relationship if your partner is Jewish is to learn about their religion. Whether you decide to believe and follow their faith is a whole different thing. You do not need to change your faith in order to understand the Jewish religion. If you love your partner than you will want to know everything about who he is and his religion is definitely part of who he is. You can start by going along to the synagogue with him on a Saturday. This will help you understand how his worship service is held and it will give you a glimpse into his religious culture.

Judaism is full of tradition and holidays and most Jews hold these things very dear to their heart. You should learn about all of the traditions, holidays and important life events, including bar mitzvahs, Hanukah and Passover. By learning about these traditions, you will be at an advantage if your partner asks you to go along to one of their religious events. It will make a much better experience for you if you know what is going on and what the significance of the tradition is.

Talking to your partner’s Rabbi will be another good way to learn about the Jewish religion. He may be able to answer any questions you have and it will make you feel more at ease when visiting the synagogue. The Rabbi may also be able to have you meet with other couples who are from different religious backgrounds who can help you and your partner work through any difficulties. They are sure to have many tips to help you get through any of the difficulties it can cause.

You will also want to learn about the Jewish diet and what your partner can eat and what he cannot eat. People from the Jewish faith are very strict about certain types of food they eat and so you don’t offend your partner it is crucial that you learn these things. Some examples are they do not eat pork from a pig, this is forbidden and they are also not permitted to have meat and milk served at the same meal. These are very important to Jews and you should ask your partner to explain to you the different things they can and cannot eat.

Communication

If the two of you are hoping for a long lasting relationship you will need set up a line of communication early on. There will certainly be conflicts in the marriage that need to worked out like what will you do on Christmas, how to handle the week-ends with two different Sabbath days or which religious events will you choose to go to together. These can be easily worked out but sometimes couple let these types of questions linger and this can allow tensions to grow. This tension can so quickly turned into a fight, it will be much better to just discuss the option and come to an agreement you both feel comfortable with.

Once this line of communication is open and you can see that things are easier to fix than you may have originally thought, you will be more likely to solve your next set of problems the same way. As with any differing of opinions, even those not involving religion, a good two-way communication is always the key tool to use to create a comprise.

Meet the Family

When it comes to his family and friends you must continue to not have any stereotypes in your mind. You will want to keep an open mind when you meet them just like you will want them to have an open mind when they meet you. They may not be very happy with your relationship at first and you must be understanding of this. Let them get to know you and get used to the idea. Most Jewish parents hope for their child to marry a Jew, so bringing you home may be very hard for them to deal with.

When meeting them be very polite and answer any of their questions honestly. This will be where some of that knowledge about Judaism will be very helpful because you are more likely to impress them if they believe you take their religious faith seriously. Time will help things with the family, so be patient and not too hard on them just yet.

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