If a girl is to sleep with lots of guys she’s called easy, maybe a slut, but certainly not revered and thought more highly of as a result. For men though who have slept with a lot of girls, this is a completely different story. If a guy sleeps with lots of girls, then he is a ‘player’, a ‘Casanova’ and generally considered successful.
Often it is pointed out how this is unfair on women and how it means that they can’t have the fun or freedom of men without being judged. However what’s often missed out is that this is also a hard thing on men in many ways – simply because there are such great expectations there and no man is always going to be able to meet them. Being a player is a good thing in the world of male egos and machismo, and it follows that not being able to attract many women and not having much sex makes you uncool.
This is a big part of the male psyche and it causes many problems – contributing to men’s cheating, to mid life crises and to teenage angst. In the perfect world then, a man would be a ‘player’ for a bit, sleeping with several women and generally gaining lots of experiences, and would then feel like he had done enough to settle down with a woman of his choice once he reached a more mature age.
So how do you do this? How do you become the guy that every girl wants to go home with or at least trade numbers with? How can you have lots of fun, impress the guys and eventually find love? Here we’ll look at some strategies you can use to ‘pull’ on a more regular basis, and that should see your success rate increase dramatically.
How to Be a Player
To be a ‘player’ and to be highly successful with women you simply need to be confident in yourself and to approach lots of women. This sounds painfully obvious, but it is nevertheless something that many men simply don’t do and it’s easier said than done.
In theory though it makes perfect sense as well as in practice. If you have confidence then it means that you can approach lots of women, and all of them will pick up on your confidence and on your ability to be yourself and relaxed which will get them interested in what exactly it is that makes you that confident. At the same time though if you’ve gone to talk to ten women and only 10% are interested that’s still a win as you’ve still got a number or a date at the end of the night. It’s a game of numbers – and you have to play the odds.
That said there are some ways you can make the process easier if you’re the nervous type, and by following the following tips you can come across as confident and charming without actually needing to put yourself out on a limb much at all.
Make Eye Contact: One way you can do this is by making eye contact from across the room, and by doing this in a smart way you can demonstrate interest without having to approach her in person. This then means she can’t reject you – she can just turn away leaving you free to look elsewhere.
To send a signal with eye contact across a dance floor, make eye contact, then look the woman down and then up, then re-establish eye contact and smile. This basically says you’ve looked her up and down and approve, and leaves her in no doubt that you’re interested. If she’s interested too then she’ll come over.
Smile: Smile is underrated and we don’t do it enough these days. If you catch someone’s eye when dancing or waiting to be served, then try just shooting them a broad smile. You’ll find that they almost always react well to it, and it’s partly the fact that it’s rare these days that makes it so effective.
Speak to the Friends: If you do approach the girl in her group, or if she comes over to you, then you should avoid the mistake of singling her out and only talking to her right away. This makes you come across as a bit shy, so what you should do instead is to chat to all of them equally and involve the whole group. This way you will seem charming and fun and confident. At the same time you will awaken the competitive urges of the woman you’re trying to impress and she’ll feel the need to get your attention or get you alone before one of her friends does.
Offer Her a Drink: When the time is right and you’ve been chatting for a while offer the girl you like a drink (i.e. to buy it). This sends out a strong signal that it is indeed her you’re interested in and by accepting the drink or turning it down she is essentially letting you know if she is reciprocating the feeling. When you ask, put your hand on the small of her back and lean in – this again sends a very strong signal. It is also a great way to then break her off from the group.
Be Yourself: It’s an old cliché, but it’s important to be yourself while you chat to the woman. The reason for this is that anything else makes you look needy and desperate – if you would change yourself to suit someone you just met then it will be obvious that you’re not really as confident as she thought. Don’t have any great need to fill the silences, just talk normally and don’t edit your mannerisms or conversation in any way for her.
Offer to Dance: Once you’ve chatted for a while on your own, offer to dance. This way you will be in the perfect position to make a move, which you can do by just moving in closer while you’re dancing until you’re in her personal space and there’s nothing else to do except to pull.
Some More Tips
Choose Wisely: When choosing which women to approach or to make eye contact with, choose sensibly. You of course want to speak with someone who looks attractive and popular, but at the same time some types of women are more likely to be receptive than others. Establish whether she’s out to pull by her clothing and her actions, and see which ‘type’ she is. Quiet types are often harder to initially attract the attention of, but easier to impress if you’re that way inclined too. Louder flirty girls can offer more of a challenge but are easier to get chatting. Use your eyes to scan around, and you should quickly see who’s receptive.
Look Your Best: It’s not all about looks – it is more about presentation and confidence (though it helps a lot to be basically nice looking). You can greatly improve your chances by dressing well and this will make you stand out among the crowd – wear a nice shirt with a nice jacket for instance, and take the time to do things like moisturising and choosing a nice watch. All of this will make you seem like more of a catch.