So you’ve had your first date and it all seemed to go well. At least it’s safe to presume it went well, as otherwise you probably wouldn’t need to be reading this article – it’s very easy to know what to do after a date went badly.
However after a good date things are not so simple and there is much more riding on the outcome. At this point you need to capitalise on what seems to have been a good day, you need to ‘keep the ball rolling’ as it were and ensure that you end up seeing each other again soon and talking in the interim. You need to establish and maintain contact, but at the same time you have to avoid making too much contact and coming across as overly eager or even desperate which can of course be highly off putting. How long do you leave it to text them? Do you arrange another date right away? Do you phone them? Here we will look into the logistics of what to do next, and how to ensure that you don’t scare him away or give off the signals that you aren’t interested.
What to Do Next – The Context
First of all, you need to think about how the date itself went as this will of course depend on how you should act next. We’ve already established that the date must have gone basically well, or at least from your perspective. However you need to also ask yourself just how well it went. If you slept together for instance then you are suddenly permitted to be far more close and presumptuous in texts, and if you stayed round without sleeping together that still gives you license to text more quickly and act more ‘coupley’. If the date was just a quick meeting in a café or pub then you probably won’t be particularly close yet and you should still act more like you did prior to the date.
When to Text
The first question many women ask is when to text the guy. The perception is that texting too early could be seen as over-eager and impatient, but at the same time not texting at all might mean that you lose the momentum and that you come across as not interested.
As a general rule it is expected for the man to text first, and this means that most women can simply wait for the man to text. However if he does not there could be several reasons for this – he may not be interested, or he might have lost his phone. It would be a big shame for you to lose contact because he couldn’t contact you and you were sticking to the ‘rules’. Likewise if you don’t hear back it can be frustrating not to know what’s happening and whether or not he is interested. At the end of the day then, if you want to know what he’s thinking, and you want to get in touch – just text. Every situation is different and strict adherence to the ‘rules’ of dating can seem needy in itself – that you can’t just act the way you actually want to. If you’re nervous about texting after the first date as the woman, then that’s where the wonder of Facebook comes in and you can easily just drop him a line that way. Just act yourself and do what you want to do to find out more about where he’s at.
If you want to phone then you can. This is a great way to show guts and to also get a much more intimate type of contact. This instantly elevates the status of your relationship as you are now being a lot more personal and getting to know each other a lot better. Phone your date only after some kind of text contact though or it can be a little intimidating.
Arranging the Next Date
Again it’s generally the man’s job to arrange the next date and this allows you to just say yes or no. If you can’t do the day that he suggests then make sure you suggest an alternative so he knows he’s not being fobbed off. At the same time though there’s no reason why you can’t suggest a date yourself if he does not. Try and see him on a weekly basis or at least less than every two weeks if possible – this will make sure you keep the ball rolling and it doesn’t ‘fizzle out’.
Bumping Into Him
The really awkward post-date scenario is that you bump into the guy in the street or at work/college. In this scenario you should make sure to act as normal as possible as though you were friends. Go up and talk to him, or let him come up and talk to you rather than acting unusually shy. After the conversation is done, you can wink or kiss (if you’re on kissing terms) to give him something to think about.