Colleen Crawford The grass is always greener on the other side as they say, and you never realise what you have until it’s gone. These are just two of the reasons that we never really want our partner more than we do once we’ve broken up and romance is no longer really on the cards. Cue lots of ill conceived attempts to get our partners back. But is it possible to get your ex back? And if so, what can you do to skew the chances in your favour? The answer to the first question happily is yes – it certainly is at least possible to get an ex partner back and there are many cases where this has happened successfully. Following then are some tips on just how to best go about getting your ex boy or girlfriend back.
Make Sure It’s What You Want
First of all before you continue with any of the following advice, it’s highly important to make sure that getting your partner back is really what you want. Often we think this is something we want, only to find ourselves in the relationship again and having second thoughts. This is highly destructive emotionally to both you and to them and will cause old emotions to rear their heads again which in turn can cause you to go through the same heartache all over again as well as causing your ex to have to go through the same thing. It’s not fair on them, and it’s not healthy for you, to try and rekindle an old flame unless you definitely want to be back in that relationship.
Leave Some Time
Don’t launch straight into the attack if you broke up a week ago as they will still be too embittered, angry or upset to want to spend time with you or to listen to what you have to say with an open mind. On the other hand, if you give them some time to cool off, they are more likely to start thinking about the positive aspects of your relationship and to start missing you again. At this point you can then look into re-establishing contact and you should find that they are more likely to reciprocate.
Be Seen
Your ex is likely to be trying to move on unless they feel similarly to you. Thus they will be doing their best to forget your relationship and move on. However if they do this then they will be able to distract themselves with other things and to forget how attracted they are/were to you. What you want to do then is to make sure that they see you looking your best, having fun and appearing to have moved on. Try changing your hair cut, and wearing things you know they like in photos and on outings. Of course Facebook is your friend here, so go for a photo shoot and then make sure you upload the pictures.
Make Changes
After giving them a bit of time to move on, and making sure they see you looking your best from time to time, you will have managed to make them miss you and desire you again. However what might be stopping them is then the practical aspect. If you split up, then chances are that it was for a good reason – you were in some way not compatible, you had different dreams and hopes for the future and there were probably some things you didn’t like about each other. What’s crucial then is making sure that you demonstrate to them in some way that you’ve made a positive change so that they see that you’ve learned from the experience and that you might be more likely to be successful as a couple a second time around.
‘Accidentally’ Meet
Now you need to somehow bump into your ex partner again so that you have a chance to chat and to then rekindle your romance. You aren’t going to get them to fall for you again over the phone or through Facebook messages so you need to see them somewhere where alcohol is flowing and you’ll both look good. Keep an eye out through Facebook or through mutual friends and find out what big events they are likely to be attending – then you can ensure that you are there too and this will give you a chance to capitalise on the feelings they’ve hopefully developed over your time apart.
Make an Effort
And not is the crucial point. If you managed to get a drunken and ill-advised kiss from your partner at this event then you will likely have to talk about where you both stand and whether you want to start things up again. Now’s the time to tell them what they want to hear – that you are going to change, that you recognise your mistakes of the past and that you really don’t want to lose them again. And then you need to make considerable effort to make sure that this is true if you want things to work this next time around.