Men are unfortunately a product of their hormones and their programming. This is true of both genders, but in the case of men unfortunately it results in the tendency for a ‘wondering eye’. This is the result of both too much testosterone (the hormone that drives our libido) as well as that evolutionary imperative for them to spread their seed. This means that in many ways it’s not really a man’s fault and thankfully as mankind has since developed a conscience it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s going to run off and cheat on you with the first buxom blonde who walks past. However he most likely will look, and possibly even smirk, as her tidy tush swaggers past and although this is relatively harmless it is still less than pleasant and not really ideal. Very few men really have eyes for only one woman and this is not a terrible thing, but certainly a shame…
Thankfully there are ways to get your man’s attention focussed squarely back on you and here we will look at what some of those ways are.
Dress to Impress
First of all you can make sure that your guy looks at you more by making sure you give him something to look at. So many women are certain that they ‘shouldn’t need’ to make themselves tarted up in order to hold their man’s attention that they refuse to wear the things that turn him on. At the same time it might come from simply too much comfort and familiarity – you’re with this guy every day so why bother to do your makeup and wear your sexiest clothes all the time?
This is really shooting yourself in the foot unnecessarily though and making him more likely to look elsewhere. If you’re wearing a baggy jumper and wellington boots then can you really be shocked when a woman walks past in stiletto heels and stockings and he looks? Don’t see it as selling out or ‘stooping to their level’ but simply as reminding your guy what he’s already got and giving yourself an ego boost at the same time. This is also just a nice thing to do for your guy – you probably like being admired and he will appreciate it a lot if you dress to impress him. At the same time you have an advantage over all the other girls because you know what he likes – if he loves high heels for instance then yes the stilettos are a great idea. If he likes your hair wavy then there’s no reason not to satisfy this whim. All of this will make sure that he keeps his eyes and his mind set firmly on you – he’ll be putty in your hands.
At the same time although it can sound a little less than romantic, you also need to make sure that your guy isn’t completely gagging for sex. If he is then he’ll have more testosterone and this will make him more likely to look at the stimulus he sees going passed – and it’s incredibly difficult for guys not to in this scenario.
As such then, a good thing to do is to make sure that your guy isn’t left for wanting. Don’t let it feel like a chore – this should be fun for both of you, and if your guy finds himself getting aroused at every advert that features women or every time he sees someone in shoes he likes then clearly there’s something not quite right.
Mix it Up
You also need to make sure you keep things fresh. Variety is the spice of life and while he might be very happy with you this doesn’t mean he isn’t going to occasionally wonder what it would be like with a redhead or with a teacher. The solution? To help him to live out those fantasies by giving him something to look forward to when he gets home such as a kinky night in with you dressed as a nurse in a blonde wig. It doesn’t mean he’s not into you as you are, but it will help to keep things from getting stale.
Change Your Thinking
The danger is that for many women a wandering eye is a sin that needs to be punished – and perhaps rightly so. But if your idea of ‘punishing’ your man is to withhold then you have to realise that you’re just making things worse. At the same time many women will be stubborn about things like dressing up or satisfying their man when they’re not in the mood because they don’t want to turn their sex life into a chore or into something one way. Indeed it shouldn’t be this way, but you mustn’t cross the line into which you start dressing mumsily and turning down most of his advances because it will mean that he’s obviously going to be frustrated. See it as something you can do for him that he will be eternally grateful for, and see it as something that both of you should be enjoying together. Make sure you get something out of it too – whether it’s the fun of being the dominatrix, the enjoyment of being lusted after, or just a long massage that you bargained with him for. Don’t push him away because of his nature as there’s really very little he can do about it.
Of course if the problem persists then it might be that he has difficulty controlling his urges and that ‘spicing’ things up and dressing sexily isn’t going to be enough. If you find that it’s hurting you and you feel insecure as a result then you need to tell him how you feel and ask him to stop. Most men will make a concerted effort and though it might not mean he stops completely, it should at least mean he’s a little more subtle about it. Don’t make the mistake of not saying anything and acting out in other ways as that will only make matters worse.