Have you ever feel that as a social citizen you are not doing well enough? In general, people are judged by their behaviors in society. It is good to have enough tolerance among other people. There are several ways to train yourself to become wiser and more tolerant. One of them is to control your anger. Anger is the emotion of intolerance. Intolerance means that you don’t accept other people’s opinion or behavior. Anger is an expression that what you think is right and the others’ are wrong. In short, anger could drive people to have less tolerance to others.
These are three important traits of tolerant people:
– Respect: Being respectful to others should be among your key principles, as it can help you to get far in life. If you want to receive respect, you should first be respectful to others. Respect is the key to open the door of tolerance.
– Peacefulness: Intolerance causes conflicts and in many cases, it even triggered wars. Peace is a good breeding ground to nurture tolerance. A tolerant individual never starts a conflict unnecessarily.
– Courage: You need to have courage to become tolerant. It takes a good deal of courage to say no to things that can cause intolerance.
There are several advices to follow to become more tolerant:
First, you need to remind yourself that if you’re perfectly comfortable with your way of thinking, then you have absolutely nothing to defend. If other people think differently with you, it doesn’t mean that you’re wrong or that you necessarily need to justify your own beliefs and actions.
Secondly, don’t personalize the conversation. Focus on the issues and never personalize it. Express your thought clearly and directly (for example, “I don’t agree that parents should give birth-control pills to their teenage daughters”). It sounds better than blaming on the person’s opinion in the debate (“You’re stupid for thinking that way!”).
Further, if you want to be defensive, never act offensively (that’s what intolerance is all about!), however you can do that in a wiser way by saying “Tell me more about that. I’d like to know why you come up with that opinion. This is your chance to share your thought with me.”
You need to avoid the use of expletives. Try to not swear and curse because it may demean yourself. Also, avoid saying bad words such as “I really don’t know what to say when you act like that” than saying, “You’re an ass, and you know it!”
Look for points of agreement. Nowadays, free sex is one of parent’s problems. However, when parent is come up with the idea by giving their daughter with birth control pills for example, it is better if at the beginning of the discussion you clearly mention that you are concerned about your daughter’s health and the well-being of your daughter.
Last but not least is to avoid contempt by all means. Body language is an intricate way of communication, for example, when you have contempt, you sigh and roll your eyes, they do not only convey a sense of intolerance, but also tell the other party that you think he (and his idea) is utterly worthless, simply another way of saying, “I’m better than you!”
A person learns to cultivate his mind must be able to tolerate things that he sees and feels. With enough patience, he can master tolerance and will be qualified to show others about the “right way”
Seeking Diversity in All Things
Intolerant behavior or attitude is possible because of influences in family. Intolerant attitude could grow due to experience in life. If you grow up in a family that tolerates differing points of view, you tend to be more considerate, and the opposite might be happen if you’ve been raised in an intolerant family. You should learn and understand about diversity. Diversity helps you to expand your horizons and see that truth usually is somewhere between what “you” think and what “others” believe. Intolerance is one way of trying to simplify the ever-changing, complex world, and you can solve it open-mindedly and with acceptance to diversity.
Nothing can be achieved without extra effort, including understanding the idea of diversity. These are several clues to help you implement your acceptance to diversity:
– Buy newspapers from places other than where you live. If you’re from a small town in the Midwest, subscribe to the New York Times. On the other hand, if you live in New York City, you can request your other relatives who live in a small town to send you her/his hometown paper.
– If you want to treat your friends, try to go to different restaurants every time you do it. This forces you out of your comfort zone.
– Read about religions different from your own. You can find books on the major world religions — and most bookstores are filled with all kinds of religion-related titles.
– When you go to a party, look for the person you don’t already know and start up a conversation. If you only talk to the people you know, you’re less likely to discover something new.
– Travel as extensively as your pocketbook allows. You can try to go to different regions of the country (or the world). When you’re there, try to spend some time talking to the locals. Make a point of socializing with people from racial and ethnic backgrounds other than your own.
– Read all editorials in the newspaper every day — not just those you agree with.
– Hang around with people with different ages. You’ll be amazed at how differently much younger or older folks think.
– Attend free lectures held by local and out-of-town authorities on various subjects. Most communities offer lecture series or similar cultural experiences. If you live in a very small town, look for a bigger town nearby and make a point of traveling there to take the advantage of these things.
– Keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. Spend some time to learn and debate later.
Avoiding Irresponsible Media
Freedom of speech and the right to express your opinion also might cause a negative impact. Debate shows are often aired in television, and during the show an exchange opinion between “experts” are purposefully intense, loud, argumentative, and at times filled with anger. Herewith, instead of expanding your knowledge, the media foments uncivil discourse and a climate of intolerance. Leading cable news has driven and transformed the media into polarized point-counterpoint expressions at extremely contrasting viewpoints on virtually any topic you can imagine, and if you weren’t angry before you started watching cable news, you will be shortly.
Without doubt, television can be entertaining and stimulating as it is a perfect blend of visual and sound. However, you need to choose which channel or media that can provide you with balanced news and is aware to their viewers or in other word a media that understands about “society responsibility”.