Holly Brewer The cool characters in films, television and books are always the mysterious ones. Bond is probably the number one example of this, but there are many others besides. The mysterious stranger, who rarely speaks and who seems to have a kind of colourful back story that sounds incredibly interesting and that we keep watching to learn more about. It’s actually when these back stories are revealed (see Darth Vader in the Star Wars prequels) that those characters become diminished and less interesting.
Then there are those people who are like it in real life. They’re our friends or acquaintances, but unlike the other people we know we know relatively little about them. They are the dark horses who give little away and who keep their cards close to their chest. Because we know less about them, they become far more fascinating, less predictable, and somehow more attractive too in many cases.
This is what makes us want to be more mysterious ourselves often – in order to become more interesting, more attractive and certainly cooler – but attempts to do so often feel forced and end up making you seem more like a poser with no social awareness rather than a mysterious stranger. So how can you become more mysterious? Here we’ll have a look at some advice on how to achieve that.
Get Life Experience
Someone who is worldly and who has done a lot in their life will have an air about them that lets you know they’ve got stories to tell. If you want to come across as mysterious then you need to be the sort of person who would have a lot to tell if they chose to divulge. So spend some time travelling and learning various languages and cultures and then you’ll seem a bit more mysterious.
Don’t Force It
The mistake people make when trying to look mysterious is to drop little hints ‘like that time I was in Africa’. If you keep doing this people will know you are trying to impress them and that will mean in turn that you look kind of needy and pathetic – quite the opposite of what you’re going for (even worse if you try and make your stories sound better than they are). What you should do instead is to just let the skills and knowledge come out randomly when asked or when necessary. For instance let them find the pictures of you in Africa on Facebook on their own, or just start speaking another language when ordering food. Don’t tell them you speak that language and then imagine the surprise when they see you speak. Then don’t try and play it up – rather play it down as something you just picked up while spending some time in Africa. If you don’t seem impressed by yourself, they’ll be all the more impressed.
Stem the Tide of Verbal Diarrhoea
Too many of us have this uncontrollable urge to tell people our life story when we’ve just met them. Instead try to hold back and the best way to do this is to ask them more about themselves and to talk about things that are currently happening – rather than just listing all of your assets every time you meet someone.
Be a Deep Thinker
To be interesting and mysterious you don’t just have to have done a lot, but also try being a deep thinker and developing views and plans and interests. People will be able to tell that there are things going on beneath the surface and they will have an urge to try and find out what that is. Thinking about who you are and what your views are on the world/politics/religion will make you a deeper and more interesting character.
Be Confident
Confidence is attractive for many reasons, but one reason is that it’s mysterious. If you come across as relaxed and confident then it will seem like you’re the one holding all the cards and like you know something they don’t. Act confident and people will presume you have a reason to be confident.
Busy Yourself
Someone who appears to spend all day sitting at home just isn’t confident. It’s much more mysterious if you seem to have lots going on – if you appear to be answering calls, making notes, and often out or busy when they try to call you. It’s not socially acceptable for people to ask who you’re talking to or why you have to be back early but they’ll be dying to know.