It’s Hollywood inspired mythology. That scene where a woman agonizes over what to wear out to the club tonight with her friends. Maybe her best friend has come over to help her choose something or “closet dive” each other’s clothing to mix it up for a new look. Stereotypes being what they are it would have you believing that only women care about what they look like and somehow or another the pressure that men feel to look good is never really translated or acknowledged in popular culture.
For the record it is equally important for a man to look good. In fact, it might be even harder for a man to pick out something to wear than it is for a woman. Don’t laugh because it’s actually true!
Think about it this way. For women they have (and let’s be polite) natural assets. Some have long beautiful hair that only needs to be clean and brushed to look appealing to men. Women have soft skin and alluring bodies. While most women definitely do put some effort into looking good (particularly when heading out to a club for the evening) if you ask most men it’s not what a woman wears that excites him. It’s actually other tangibles – her eyes or her smile, her laugh and charisma. Men don’t notice stuff like shoes for the most part and most men actually don’t like it when women wear makeup and lipstick. They see beyond that superficial stuff for what really attracts them and “who” the girl is as a person surprisingly does factor strongly into male attraction.
Men don’t have it quite so easy. Women’s parameters for judging the opposite sex are certainly different – more restrictive and finite and definitely focused more on materialism. Genetically there is a reason that women choose certain qualities. Blame the psychology on the caveman culture. Women are looking for strong men who are physically built and taller than them. This is important to the modern day woman who needs a man who can bring home a wooly mammoth for dinner (smirk). Our ideologies have remained the same but the tools of measurement for a “desirable male” have changed. To the modern day woman an attractive man must be physically appealing and be able to “provide”. Women are incredibly judgmental when it comes to the way men dress and if a man is single and looking to meet someone he has to be careful about the signals that his appearance sends to the opposite sex.
And You Thought Men Had it Easy?
In addition to being judged by females men are also judged by other men in a competitive way. A man has to dress in a way that establishes himself to other men as well as a man of quality or stature. The clothing, shoes and hairstyle are all assessed by other men (not in the same methods as they are evaluated by women). It is in fact a competition for the females in the herd and no one wants to look like the weak or scraggily male. It’s entirely avoidable with the right fashion tips.
Tight Is Not Right
Tight pants and skinny jeans are great for girls. They accentuate curves and lean long legs which are attractive attributes for females to put forward when making a first impression. For guys? Tight is never right!
First we note that men are built quite differently. Tight pants particularly in the front look pretty normal for a girl but downright uncomfortable for a guy who has more going on at the zipper. It’s simply not a good look. And tight legged pants make a man look smaller which according to our psychological genetics is actually a turn off for women who want a man to look strong and healthy and built. Whether you consider yourself to be a metro sexual or not, tight pants on a man is a very bad and socially limiting wardrobe choice.
Jewelry Is Cultural
For some cultures when men wear a lot of jewelry it is a sign of status. Take for instance the prevalence of heavy gold and diamond jewelry for the world’s best rappers. In that culture it makes perfect sense and it is an attractive trait to see a guy fully laden in the gold and jewels that he clearly has the cash to pay for. But in other cultures excessive jewelry is a big turn off. So unless you are aiming to look like P. Diddy and roll with a “gangsta” look, then stick to one simple chain on your neck when you dress to impress. No girl really wants to nuzzle up to cold metal instead of kissing a warm neck.
Not to be mistaken for a Star Wars episode put yourself in the place of women in a nightclub. Depending on the style of club (Goth and thrash clubs aren’t inherently known for huge doses of cologne) there could be as many as one thousand or more individuals in the same room. If about half of the people at the club are men wearing different kinds of cologne (and this applies also for women who unnecessarily bathe in perfumes before heading out) it can get pretty confusing to the nose. There really is no point in totally dousing yourself with cologne in a room full of competing body scents.
Let’s be real. The only time smelling great really matters is when things get “up close and personal” at which time even a small amount of cologne placed in the appropriate spots does the trick. For men simply spray your chest twice. Your body heat will ensure that the scent carries around you and if she moves in close for a cuddle she will be aiming her face at your chest. That’s where it has the most impact. Avoid overdosing everyone and buy premium cologne which has staying power, rather than showering yourself with cheap stuff and knocking everyone out.
Don’t Sweat It!
Most nightclubs pile in as many people as they are able to. When you arrive the club can be very cold, which is something that is actually done on purpose to offset the heated temperature that will follow once the crowds arrive. So dressing for the club when there is such a gap between temperatures (extreme cold to very hot) is really tricky. And it’s not like you can just leave your jacket on a chair when you go up and dance. Walk away from your articles and you can pretty much say goodbye to them.
Dress in layers. A classy white t-shirt underneath a collared shirt is a great look with a pair of quality designer jeans and a belt. It may be a bit of a “pretty boy” look at the beginning of the evening but as the temperatures rise you can take off the over shirt and either check it into the coat check (yes it’s worth doing) or tuck a portion of your shirt in your back jean pocket and let it drape off your side. You can also sling it over your shoulder but never tie a shirt around your waist. That look went out in the 80’s and is definitely not going to score you any cool points.
The clothing a man chooses tells everything we need to know about the quality of the man, his sense of style and his grooming habits as well as his affluence. It may not be fair to be judged on these parameters but it is human nature that’s been passed down a millennia and unlikely to change anytime soon. When heading out to a nightclub, dress for success.