Dating Advice – Should Women Pay on Dates?

When a man goes on a date he is normally presented with many difficult questions – should he initiate a kiss at the end of the night? What should he choose to be the location and event? Should he arrange a reason for himself to leave? Etc.

One of the most common questions for men though is whether or not they should pay and this is something that many guys struggle with – of course they want to pay, but is doing so chauvinistic? And does it send the wrong message? If you’re not sure of the date then do you want to lead them on? But then isn’t it too rude a rebuttal to not pay? This is something that is fairly conspicuous in its absence… So the question of whether a guy should pay or not is quite a complicated one (though the answer is generally ‘yes’).

Should Women Pay?

What’s not such a complicated issue though is whether or not women should pay – and the simple fact of the matter is that there is no set precedent and no expectation for women to pay. This means that rightly or wrongly, women can get away without paying and no one will read anything into it. If women do pay on the other hand, this tends to stand out as relatively unusual and so it’s best off if women just leave the paying to the men – or just pay for their own.

Paying for Your Own

The main activity will hopefully be something like a meal, drinks or the cinema. It’s important that although the expectation is on the man to pay, that you don’t come across as though you expect them to fork out. What you must do instead is to get out your purse as though to pay, but then to let the guy pay for you if he jumps in – don’t put up too much of a fight when he offers or it may look as though you’re not interested.

What If You Want to Pay?

If you want to pay then this needs to be handled with tact. Paying for too much of the event will seem socially unusual, but more to the point it will make him feel somewhat emasculated as it is considered the man’s job as a ‘provider’ to fork out for the event. He will have been planning to impress you by paying for the event and would get an actual kick out of this, if you take it away from him then it will feel as though he hasn’t performed his role and might also suggest that you aren’t confident in his ability to pay.

The best way to make a contribution then is to offer to buy him one drink – and this will normally go down a treat as it suggests you’re having fun and enough that you want to treat him. It also shows that should the relationship progress, you won’t always be expected things to be bought with you without giving back in some way. To show interest while you do it, put one hand on the small of his back and lean in and ask what you can get him. It’s a confident move and highly sexy and it’s sure to pique his interest.

1 comment

  1. DQ Gladstone Reply
    June 13, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    This article expresses an agenda but it has about as much referential support as a conversation between 3 women in the ladies room after a couple of martinis.

    "…that many guys struggle with – of course they want to pay, but…"

    Wow! No, they don't want to pay, Colleen, if they did this article wouldn't exist. Men DON't want to pay which is why married couples fight and divorces happen. Why men don't want to marry and girls do.

    "You should pull out your purse and ACT like you're going to pay…?"

    Wow. Of course, that routine works but it shows your lack of sincerity and your agenda, Colleen.

    In almost every article on this subject you always hear the statement "if he asks me out, he should pay. If I ask him out…" which is why women never ask men out and are so lonely and… why dildo sales are way up.

    WOMEN! Join us in the 21st century!! Bustles, bonnets and side-saddle riding are gone. Embrace feminism! Be an adult. Yes, it sucks but it's better than loneliness.

    Colleen! Cut the CRAP. I respect your feminism so much. I'm begging you to pay! Pay, Colleen, PLEASE!! (whimper…)… please pay… Colleen…

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