Dating a Married Man

A wise woman never dates a married man. There are just too many disappointments, disadvantages and even dangers that threat women who pursue such a course of action. If you’re available and desperately need a partner for a permanent, lifelong commitment, you shouldn’t sabotage your future success by trying to snare other woman’s husband.

It’s obvious that a husband needs to share most of his attention to his family. He won’t be available for you on Christmas, Easter and even the St. Valentine’s day. You can’t introduce him to friends and your family. Many married men are living on the budget, as he needs to pay for bills, mortgage, child’s education, insurance and other family-related expenses. So forget about lavish nights and expensive gifts. Often, he tries to avoid the crowd and visiting popular places in your town, to avoid meeting his friends, relatives, or worse, his wife.

Why Do Men Cheat?

Opportunity is often the single most important reason why many men tend to cheat. Everyone sometimes enjoys the pleasure of doing something without others’ knowledge. For many men, faithfulness is a matter of options and they cheat because they can choose. It is certainly unwise to categorize every man in the same bracket and you shouldn’t expect all men to cheat immediately given the opportunity. Nevertheless, the situation is certainly very tempting and if an irresistible woman gives even the slightest hint of opportunity, it’s quite likely for a man to cheat or at least, take a little pleasure for some time.

Cheating men are confident that they won’t get caught if they take necessary precautions. They often compensate by re-strengthening the relationship with the wife and strongly believe they can keep their affairs under the wraps. Men who have an affair are like jackals, who seek pleasure despite the significant risk.

Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Date a Married Man

These are things that should discourage you to date a married man or encourage you to end the relationship:

1. He’s not entirely yours

You’ll be at the mercy of his daily schedule, as he needs to prioritize his time for his wife and kids. Most of the time, you’ll be lonely.

2. You can’t make it public

There are so many things that can go wrong with a secret relationship. When you start to get close to someone and fall in love, it’s natural that you want to go out in public and tell your family and friends. Unfortunately, you can’t do that, because you want to keep your relationship secret, due to the stigma of dating a married man and the dangers it entails.

3. You need to physically share a man

If you have a sexual relationship with a married man, you should be comfortable with the “double dipping”. A cheating man often has a reinvigorated intimacy with his wife, in an attempt to cover his tracks. He may try to downplay his sexual relationship with the wife to you, but in the end, he goes home to her, sleeps with her and plays husband-and-wife with her, and “sadly” not with you.

4. You waste precious time

You’re not getting younger while you’re having a relationship with a married man. He may promise to leave his wife and keep on telling you to just wait for a few more months. A married man often strings you for too long, while showing very small amount of commitment. He simply enjoys the thrill of having a secret affair.

5. He has all the advantages

A cheating man is in control of the relationship. He sees an affair as something that is romantically and sexually thrilling. It makes his life once again exhilarating and full of passions. You’re simply his toy. Just like a small boy, there’s a chance that he is tired of playing with you temporarily or perhaps, for good. Many cheating men still love their wives and kids and can summarily end the relationship with you, if it threatens to disturb his marriage. You’ll be depressed, left alone and there’s nothing you can do about it.

6. You should be ready for a huge fight

There is always the risk that his crazed wife will call you incessantly or, worse bang on your door, when she finds out. What if she calls you at work through the operator? What if she calls your parents? What co-workers and friends will think of you if they find out that you have a relationship with a married man?

A wife often has a strong sense and she can pick up even the slightest changes in his husband’s behaviors. She will quietly gather evidences to confirm her suspicions and confront him at the right time. A cheated woman may go ballistic and furiously presses her husband about name, address and phone number of the other woman. There is a possibility that she will threaten to take legal actions, a move that can be advantageous for her. In the end, if he persists to stay with you, he may lose much of his assets and money. After all of this happens, you may start to think that things were far better and happier when you were available and alone.

How to End It?

When you want to end a relationship gracefully, you should start to set some distance with him. You should begin to impose physical and emotional boundaries. However, often women are lured back at their vulnerable moments. To prevent it, you should also try to slowly diminish your feeling on him. Both can be difficult to do if you have been deeply attached to him emotionally. To help you set some distance, you should consider how the relationship has affected your life negatively.

What was your goal when you started the relationship with him? It is likely that you wanted to have a lasting relationship with someone who is mature and sensitive. Reconsider the goal, is it really achievable? Think about things that you’ve neglected after you started the relationship. You may have avoided your close friends and family for too long. Ask yourself whether, avoiding your friends and family worth the thrill?

He may eventually start to notice changes in you, which causes him to leave you numerous voice mails and text messages. The process of avoiding him can be hard and painful initially, but you should understand that continuing your relationship may cause a bad divorce and troubled children. Choose the right moment to say that you want to end it. In a situation like this, tensions and emotions can run high, which potentially may develop into a physical abuse, so for this once, you should do it in public.

Some men can become obsessed in re-establishing the affair and lose common sense. He may show up at your office, which increase the probability for the wife to find out. These are inevitable risks that you may need to face for having a bad relationship in the first place.

5 comments

  1. Barbara Brooks Reply
    May 16, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    This was extremely helpful to me, I was dating a married man and everything in this article happened to me. I will NEVER date another married man.

  2. Florence Reply
    February 7, 2016 at 4:18 am

    Great advice. I'm in love with a married man & we need to break it off if he's not gonna leave her!

  3. Tebogo Reply
    February 27, 2016 at 11:54 pm

    I found this very helpful, as I have notice all advantages mentioned already in my life. Thank you!

    • Valerie Mondesir Alarcon Reply
      May 13, 2018 at 12:49 am

      Dating A Married Man: Think Before You Act

  4. Shelita Reply
    May 14, 2018 at 4:14 pm

    I’m dating a married man now. And it is so confusing. But since I’ve read this it’s much easier for me to let go. Thanks for the advice it was very helpful.

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