Reasons to Date a Geek


Throughout school geeks never had the best reputation or social standing. Many of us spent our time trying to avoid being seen to associate with geeks, and put even more energy into making sure that we were never given the unfortunate title ourselves. To be called a geek was to be cast into a social tier that was far below what one would hope for, and where meeting member of the opposite sex, getting onto sports teams or having any kind of sway or dominance would be nothing but a pipe dream.

However for most of us that was a long time ago, and we have since matured enough to realize that wearing glasses is not such a heinous crime that it deserves the punishment of being ostracized from all social groups. In fact as we mature and get older, we start to realize that the geeks in many cases were ahead of the rest of us and the ones who were really onto something. As we get older the group of kids at school who were once ‘cool’ become a lot less attractive, and the ‘geeks’ suddenly start to seem like a more tantalizing proposition for dating. Here we will look at what it is about geeks that makes them actually a good catch and why you should consider dating one.

Defining a ‘Geek’

Before we begin though it is important to recognize exactly what we mean by geek. To most people a geek is someone who has a non-mainstream interest in a technical subject whether this is maths, computer science or engineering. At the same time ‘geeks’ will often display obsessive interest in these areas to the point of neglecting other areas of their life. Another aspect that many of us consider ‘geeky’ is an interest in fantasy and speculation – and geeks are known for being fans of Star Wars, comics and computer games as a result.

Both of these things are symptoms of geeks being rather turned inwards – they are so interested in what’s going on in their heads that they often forget, or pay little attention to the outside world. Fantasy then is more interesting than reality, as is speculation, and that’s what allows them to dream up the next big thing – a genius is a geek whose introverted fantasies spill out and transform reality.

This also means that geeks have a stereotypical ‘look’ which tends to involve being slim and wiry – a result of spending more time at the computer and less on the pitch, and of being unkempt with wild hair and stubble in the case of the men. Of course this look is just a stereotype, and there are plenty of ‘closet geeks’ who are secretly very geeky but do a better job of portraying an image of ‘normality’.

People often also associate geekiness with a certain shyness and social awkwardness. This is likely a result of geeks being so introverted and in spending a lot of time on their own as a result – they are simply out of practice (though they may also over think their social interactions). At the same time the true geeks who are very obsessed with their particular interests might find it hard to talk on other subjects.

Again here though there is a lot of variation and it’s important to recognize that not all geeks are socially inept and that this is actually a sub-type of geek who may be called a ‘nerd’. Dating a nerd is not such a good idea as going out with someone socially inept can be difficult and at times even embarrassing (note the difference between socially shy and socially inept – dating someone shy can be perfectly rewarding). In fact there are many geeks who can reign in their geekiness when the situation demands and who can even turn it into a strength by being ‘geek chic’, by being self deprecating about their geekiness, and by only revealing the interesting things going on in their head when asked. Many geeks won’t have been teased at school at all and instead will have walked the tightrope between being socially aware and still having a lot going on – and these are the ones who are the real catches.

So dating a geek is fine if you choose the right geek and if you define them not as necessarily someone who is completely socially inept. Someone a bit introverted with an obsessive personality and maybe a high intellect is a highly desirable partner to date. Here we will look at why.

Geeks Are Smart

One of the defining characteristics many of us associate with geeks is intelligence – they were the ‘boffins’ at school and the ones who appeared a little bookish. The reason for this was that they genuinely understood what they were reading and found it interesting as a result.

This then in turn means though that you will find them to be highly fascinating to talk to and you will be able to learn an awful lot from your conversations with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean that every conversation is going to be a lesson in physiques, but it does mean that you will be able to have discussions about the universe and life that go deep into the night and probably come away with a new perspective and fresh ideas. At the same time if you did want to learn a bit about a new topic then they may be able to introduce you to programming or to chemistry and this can really broaden your horizons. This also makes them deeper and means that when you ask them what they’re thinking about they’ll come up with something actually interesting rather than ‘football’ or ‘shopping’.

They Are Achievers

There are many sources that say that geeks rule the world and this is true in many senses. As computers are now so crucial to modern life, that means that someone who can develop computer software and hardware is going to be a guaranteed success. More and more jobs are opening up for people who can program, do maths or research medication and these are the jobs that the ‘geeks’ will be taking. Meanwhile many of the ‘jocks’ you remember from school who spent their time playing sports and dating rather than studying will find themselves working pubs or shops as a result. In other words they peaked at high school and stagnated from there onwards. Of course this isn’t always the case and many ‘jocks’ and ‘popular kids’ will go on to do great things too and will get by on their charisma and confidence. Still if you had to hedge your bets, the guy or girl getting consistently straight As is probably going to end up with the best career.

This then means that you’ll be dating someone who can provide for you and your family, and who has a job that they – and you – can be proud of. You could be dating the next Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs.

They Are Fun

If a geek seems obsessed with Spider-Man then this suggests something childish. Like a child they are still more interested in the possibilities of fantasy rather than the restrictions of reality. They are likely therefore to be eccentric and original thinkers and to enjoy colorful and unusual things. For someone dating them this then means a lot of fun and different activities – more creative dates and a more interesting life day-to-day.

At the same time a geek by definition cannot take themselves too seriously – if they are okay with wearing Venom on their t-shirt then they probably don’t think of themselves as Casanova or the Queen – and going out with someone who can have a joke at their own expense and that won’t get defensive when you poke fun makes a relationship so much more laid back and enjoyable.

They Are Self Confident

Many geeks are socially shy and this might make you think that they aren’t confident in themselves. However being confident to speak to strangers or speak in front of a group, and being confident in your own self worth and your own ability are two very different things. The fact is that if a geek is willing to do things that aren’t considered ‘cool’ it often suggests that they don’t get their sense of self worth from other people. This means they are confident to actually be themselves and to do what they find interesting. This then means that they are a lot happier as a rule and it means that they won’t take their low self esteem out on you – they will be supportive and help you to nurture your own interests and hobbies too.

They Are Talented

Not only is a geek intelligent, but that intelligence and obsession when combined result in amazing talents such as musical skills, painting skills, crafts or programming. That then means that you can enjoy watching them perform their talent and there are few things more desirable than watching someone who is truly gifted in something.

They Are Sensitive

Geeks are also often considered to be highly sensitive. Whether this is because they put up with teasing often at school, or because they are introverted and so aware of their own feelings and thoughts, they will tend to be far more aware of their partners emotions and far more keen to make them happy and to avoid hurting their feelings. Their obsessiveness also often means that they become ‘obsessed’ (in the healthy way) with their partner and these two things combined make for generous partners who are fiercely loyal. If you don’t want the drama of going out with someone who will mistreat you and not care about your feelings then, why not try a geek who will be far more likely to cherish you and to be sensitive to your needs and wants.

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Colleen Crawford

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Colleen Crawford