Getting the feeling that you’re heading for a breakup is a highly distressing and upsetting experience, and in many ways it can be almost worse than the process of breaking up itself.
When you start to pick up on the signs that your partner is thinking of breaking up your relationship, you’ll feel as though you’re moving towards something inevitable, like you’re living a lie, like they don’t love you any more – but you’ll be reminded of this daily when you get messages that don’t feel as heartfelt and when you meet with them only to find that conversation is awkward or they don’t look at you in quite the same way. Until your relationship is actually over it’s impossible to move on so it may be better to confront them on the issue.
But to do this you need to be sure – how do you know you’re not just being paranoid? Here we will look at some indicators that she really is thinking of leaving you.
She Seems Upset
Many people think that breaking up is something that has a perpetrator and a victim – in other words if she’s leaving you then why would she be upset? However this is rarely how relationships work and if she’s thinking of breaking up with you this is likely to be a very difficult decision and one that will be very upsetting to her – she won’t want to hurt you and she’ll of course remember the good times that you had together as well as the bad. If she seems upset and quiet when you talk to her then, this may be because she knows a breakup is imminent. However do bear in mind that there are also many other reasons she might be upset around you and this on its own is not a sure sign that you’re heading for a break up. Like any of these indicators, her being upset is most revealing if it coupled with more of the signs.
Her Friends Act Differently Toward You
Women as a rule are social beings and if they are thinking of breaking up with you then they will likely have discussed the idea with their friends first. This then means that those friends might start acting differently toward you as they know what’s coming and as they will have heard why it’s not working. If they’ve gone from being very friendly and making a lot of effort to being distant and icy, then it might be that they know what’s on the cards.
She Isn’t as Affectionate
If you find that your romantic advances are being constantly rebuffed then this is often a sign that something is wrong. In particular it may be that she is thinking of breaking up with you, and so doesn’t wasn’t to get very close as it would be like acting out a lie. At the same time it can be somewhat distasteful for some people to sleep with someone they have no intention of staying with.
She Is Hard to Contact
If a woman is thinking of breaking up with you then you may well find it harder to pin her down and get in touch. There are many reasons for this. First of all if she is less infatuated than she once was then she will be less eager to check her phone from messages from you. Secondly if she’s thinking of breaking up with you then it will make sense for her to try and strengthen her other relationships by spending more time with friends and meeting new people meaning she’ll be harder to get hold of. Finally many women will try and simply phase their men out in order to get them used to the idea that they are breaking up. By cutting off contact they attempt to ease the transition between being in a relationship and being single. However this is actually just a cowardly and selfish way to go about ending a relationship as it will cause you distress and doubt as you start to suspect what’s happening and the motivation is usually that they are too afraid to tell you straight up that the relationship is over.
She Won’t Talk About the Future
Many people feel uncomfortable talking about the distant future and if you say ‘when we’re married’ and she visibly cringes this is nothing to be concerned about necessarily. However if she won’t talk about next month and doesn’t want to book any holidays with you ‘in case you break up’ then this is obviously something she is at least considering. This is a great little test to see what she’s thinking – ask her if she wants you to book tickets to the two of you for something in six months time and then see if she gets anxious.
She Won’t Open Up
Ever get that feeling where there’s a pink elephant in the room? There’s something that you really want to talk about but can’t, and that means that you suddenly can’t think of anything else to say? If a girl is thinking of ending your relationship then that is something that she has to consider on her own and not something she can really openly discuss with you and this might mean that you have a hard time talking to her in general. She’ll probably become a bit more introverted and be generally reflective and quiet. It’s not necessarily a break up on the cards, but she’s certainly thinking about something.
She’s Chatting to Other Men
Of course how different women break up with you will depend a lot on the woman, and while some will be very upstanding and honest in their approach, others might be more likely to break your heart. If your girlfriend seems to be spending a lot more time with guys or a particular guy, and is also more difficult to get hold of, then it might well be a sign that she is thinking of breaking up with you. She may have found a different guy already, she might have just decided she wants to meet someone new, or she might just be preparing her ‘safety net’ so she has someone to fall back on and another ‘option’.
All of these may be signs that your partner is thinking of leaving you, and they are particularly telling if they occur together – no one sign on its own can really say with any certainty. However there are other ways to tell too and these will depend a lot on the individual and your own relationship history. Think about how things have been going between you, whether you have any doubts, or whether you can see any reason that she might have any doubts. At the same time try and think about what she is like and what her relationship history suggests – how did her last relationship end? Has she had a string of relationships of a similar length? Did she cheat on her last boyfriend? Or did she leave very suddenly? You could even try discussing with her exes what happened if you know them or if you are very concerned (just don’t let her find out).
Once you have enough evidence and you think you’re definitely being broken up with, make sure that you confront her and get the problem out in the open so you can discuss it. This will give you the best chance of arguing your case and dealing with the issue rather than letting her quietly build up evidence against you and it will also mean that if you are heading for a breakup that can’t be evaded, that you will at least know as soon as possible and be able to begin getting over her and moving on.