It may be hard to believe, but for some adults, sleeping alone is a difficult thing to do. This mostly affects women, but men can be affected too. The fear of sleeping alone can cause sleep deprivation and reduce your quality of life.
Luckily, all hope is not lost, as with some persistence you can sleep more easily. A big part of eliminating the fear of sleeping alone is by figuring out why you’re fearful in the first place. You maybe unconsciously have worries of the dark or even of the ‘closet monster’. Lie down on the bed during the day and imagine it’s late at night, figure out what are the real reasons of your fear. This will help you find effective solutions to your problem. For example, if you’re afraid of the dark, you can make the room as bright as possible without making your sleep difficult.
Another reason why some adults afraid of sleeping alone is the lack of predictable routine, if a series of routine can help you sleep more easily, you’ll feel more secure. You’ve to be firm to yourself and convince yourself that you mean business.
These are a few ways to help adults sleep alone more easily:
Decide What You Want
The first step in eliminating the fear of sleeping alone is to find an ideal sleeping habit. A few hours before bedtime, you should make your body and mind more relaxed, to remove anxiety and fear. For example, you should eat a moderate amount of food, watch funny TV shows, read hilarious books and have an enjoyable bath. You should also set up a waking up routine, for example have a light exercise while playing favorite songs. Knowing what you like and what you want can help you set up a good routine. If you’re uncertain and have disorganized pre-sleeping activities, you’ll be more likely to have the fear of sleeping alone.
Don’t Take a Nap During the Day
If you have a hard time sleeping alone at night, you should skip nap. Struggling to have a sleep until 1 AM, while being plagued by fear isn’t something you want to have each night. If you feel especially tired during the day, you should do something exciting, don’t watch the TV on the couch as you could doze off easily. Being a little cranky and tired at night is better that being absent-minded and awake until 1 AM on the bed. If you’re sleepy and tired, you won’t have an extra energy to dwell on fear.
Go to Bed Early
When you sleep at 9 PM, it’s more likely that you still hear sounds from outside, such as the traffic noise and the sounds of your neighbors talking. Man-made noises from outside of your room will help you to realize that you’re not alone at all. Going to bed early is also much easier if you feel tired and didn’t take a nap previously. By waking up early at 5 or 6 AM, you’ll understand that quietness and darkness are not that frightening. For adults affected by the fear of sleeping alone, early sleeping time is a huge step of having a more enjoyable sleep.
If you’re distracted by something emotionally exciting, fear won’t have the chance of dominating your nights. When it’s already 6 PM, you should start make your activities positive and relaxing. Step outside for a few minutes, read, listen to music and watch TV, just to make your mind occupied with good things. Of course, you shouldn’t get too distracted or your mind will be too active for a quick, early sleep.
Expect Some Setbacks
Despite your efforts, sleep can still be hard to achieve sometimes. You may have a difficult day or you feel some physical discomforts. Perhaps, you’re moving to a new apartment or house, and you feel like sleeping a strange house. If you’ve tried everything to do everything to sleep better and you still can’t sleep easily, then you should have an understanding and patience with yourself. Give yourself enough time to let the stress to subside.
Call in the Reinforcements
Don’t be too hard on yourself; asking a few friends to come over at weekend to sleep on your place won’t hurt. Talk to a close friend about your problem and ask for his/her advices to help you eliminate the fear. You will be stronger if you know that someone is supporting you. Some wives may also have trouble sleeping alone when their husbands are working on a night shift. If this is the case, you should ask your spouse for support.
If you have grown more accustomed to sleeping alone, you should reward yourself. For example, on the weekend do something exciting that you rarely did. A little incentive is important to provide enough motivation to let you progress toward a completely fear-free sleep. Set a number of mini-goals on your progress schedule and also add corresponding rewards. You can buy yourself new shoes or dress, treat yourself a delicious lunch.
Add Some Noise
A little noise will help to reduce your fear of sleeping alone. While people with insomnia often play music that is combined with the sound of nature; in your case, you may need to play the sound of people talking. Turn on the TV, choose a 24-hour news channel, and adjust the volume. It is quite likely that you’ll get bored and can sleep more easily.
Pray Before You Go to Sleep
If you’re religious, a prayer before you go to sleep can be very effective in eliminating your fear. If you believe in God, you should be convinced that the divine power will protect you from anything.
Say if you’re 25 years old, did you ever experience anything wrong when you slept alone? It’s very likely that those nights passed quietly and things that you afraid of most never happened. So if they never happened in the past 25 years, why would they happen tonight?
Really great and supportive article I just moved to college never been living on my own I experienced being afraid at night since I wasn't use to this atmosphere. This article made me feel reassured and actually help me relax with the techniques they explained about.
Thank you 🙂
It is very useful advice!
I'm 8, now I don't have to sleep with mommy! Lizzy.
I found this very helpful I looked at other sites and none where as helpful. I was basically looking for a magic potion but this is the closest I could find I found it very helpful.
I lost the ability to sleep alone after I watched a super horror movie about ghost. This is very helpful. I am 20, and I am a boy. ==
I was reading the article and I came across one of the other articles which was talking about being afraid of the dark which in this case I am not scared of the dark.
This is the best advice I have had yet for curing my insomnia!
This is truly a pathetic article. For those that think this is helpful, you are not having fear. You are maybe in a new situation or have other stresses and are having a problem with insomnia. There is plenty of help out there in forms of supplements and homeopathic remedies for people like that. This article is so void of insight that I think the person who wrote this just wanted to have his/her article published. The last point in the article was the ultimate setback, Be Logical she titled it. Really lady, do you have any idea how many children get sexual assaulted at it is usually at night? There take this to adulthood it is called PTSD. I am doing research in trying to overcome a bad case of PTSD, and am sick of running across article that waste my time. Are you psychologist by any chance, all you shrinks are good for is holding a bored housewife's hand. When it comes to true PTSD you people are useless.
Nothing there would make any difference to me, I have always slept in a home with others and then just my dog. Last week my dog died now there is no living being to reach out and touch. TV and music are not gonna save me. Need other real life.
Thank you for your comments. I didn’t read the whole article. But people who struggle with sleep for various reasons need tremendous compassion and help, not platitudes. Does the article actually say, “be logical?” Some people struggle with sleep for serious reasons. Logic will NOT help this. If you think logically, it can make things worse. If you have tough reasons that keep you from sleeping, the last thing you want to do is to focus on logic! There’s a Bible verse that says, return to your rest, oh, my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. Logic won’t help. But the Lord can. (And he can use tools like therapists and supplements.)
I'm trying to follow, sounds helpful! Its 4am now I wish I could sleep well.
I am 17 years old and I sleep with my dog, and I can't sleep at night without her… I am glad I read this article! Goodnight! haha cx
This may work!
The information is useful and appears completely relevant to my present situation at the age of over 72+. I am looking for an easy solution to get over the problem, apparently prominent very late in life after demise of my wife.
Ever since I watched a horror movie two years ago, I just couldn't sleep alone. It became worse a year ago when I came to terms with this fear. These days, I wake up crying coz I just can't sleep. I'll try to do the things listed here. Thank you.
Pray? Really? Pray that no one breaks into my house and rapes me?
That's great. That should really help my problem!
HELPED A LOT, GOOD ARTICLE!
I hate my parents for not allowing me to sleep alone and for not purchasing a house that has more than one bedroom so I could have my own. Now I’m 18 and can’t enjoy watching horror movies because I’m still beginning to train myself to be alone. I always want to be independent like sophisticated office girls. But I wasn’t used to sleeping alone and would always want to be aware of the surroundings that’s why I turn the lights on whenever the family members leave the house at 3am. and whenever I was fighting my fear, it seems that thinking over good things triggers me thinking why I think good things, and that is to escape the horror.
Not very helpful. You said " It’s very likely that those nights passed quietly and things that you afraid of most never happened."
Is this article for children afraid of the dark? Most night fears from adults is from PTSD, scared because something bad DID happen and you are scared it will happen again… perhaps you were raped or molested whilst alone in bed one night. Or perhaps you were the victim of a break in whilst you were still home in bed and vulnerable and got physically assaulted by said burglers.
So be logical yourself and don't assume everybody that is afraid to sleep alone is scared of the closet monster.
I'm kind of ashamed to say this but I am 17 years old and I have the fear of sleeping alone… I mean I can do… but if I don't feel sleepy my mind wanders off to weirdly scary places… but your advice helped me a lot… I know you get this a lot but thank you sincerely…
Very good and helpful, I will try it tonight!
This was very helpful for me, I'm 13 years old, I'm scared to death, petrified even, to sleep by myself. I'm afraid something will happen if I sleep bg myself.
I love this advice but whenever I go to my bed, I feel like all that ive believed in just went away. Can someone please help me? ;-;
This was a very helpful article, my 2 sons read this with me and they do not have to sleep with me anymore, thank you for teaching and sharing this information!
Really not helping!
This article is ridiculous. I don't have a fear of sleeping alone. I can't sleep by myself. I always toss and turn. None of these helped. Plus I'm 21, my insomnia has caused me a lot if sleepless nights and tired work days where I'm slacking!
I am a 31 yr old man. But I have a fear in sleeping alone at home during night. I was searching for some ideas but the ideas I found here were good to implement and I will do so in future. Also I need further ideas to avoid imaginations occurring in mind by itself.
It's very good.
It's a really good article. I am usually scared at night alone because the ghost from grudge might come in my room 🙂 but this helped a lot!
Helps a lot, thank you!
I am 15 year's old and I am scared of monsters and ghosts and I think I should try this tonight, tnx 🙂
I'm 19 years old and I can't sleep in my bedroom alone because when I was a small child I seen things in the dark. It stopped after I moved into a new home with my family. However I was in my bedroom sleeping. It was pitch black and I woke up to talking. Let me add I was the only one in the bedroom and I was 18 at the time so it wasn't some childish nightmare. I sat up to see the tallest most darkest figure of a man standing on my ceiling. I jumped out of bed and that was the first time in years that I had ever ran out of my room screaming. Ever since then my sleeping alone fear started right back up. I have tested this. I have had friends stay the night and I sleep just fine in my own bed. As soon as they leave though I'm back on the couch in the living room where I can be close to my parents. I have tried most of these suggestions and I feel as though my fear goes deeper than what I could ever fix on my own. Would a sleep study be able to determine what it is that is causing this fear?
Thank you, this was very helpful!
I still don't go to sleep alone…
I am so relieved to read this article! My husband died when my son was 9 years old. I’ve had a couple of close calls myself. My son is terrified to sleep alone. He’s afraid if he isn’t right there I’m going to die in my sleep. I’ve tried my hardest, I’ve been patient, bought a new bed, encouraged him, nothing works! He also has chronic nightmares. He is 22 and felt alone in this. Hopefully I can take this to his therapist and we can begin to get help.
Very much underestimates the problem therefore offers little in the way of coping strategies except perhaps going to bed earlier to hear outside noises, thanks!
I suggest getting a cat or a dog and having them sleep by your side… Then you don’t have to be alone. This article didn’t help me.
This article has some helpful points for people who have not already been traumatized by nighttime violence. More professional support may then be needed. At 68 years old, very active and healthy… I note that I have since childhood feared the night. I have traveled the world in business… often alone and managed to remain productive. I actually felt safer at night in a hotel than in my very nice, safe home. Go figure! After the death of my husband I read a helpful book by a widow, whose name I don’t recall. However, she made some points that have helped me through many years of being alone at night… She commented, do whatever you need to do to feel safe at night and sleep in a healthy manner. Lock up the house at night and retire to your bedroom. Close and lock the bedroom door, if you can and there are no children in the home. Keep pets in the room with you. They are comforting. If you feel better putting a dresser in front of the door… slide that baby over there! Put on soft music; maybe a small glass of wine; maybe a mild sleeping sedative; perhaps a dim light. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO! If your finances permit… get an alarm. Your health depends on quality sleep. Some previously mentioned items are also helpful… meditation, prayer, charged phone, a planned escape route for that long feared intruder event (in my 68 years, has never happened). I won’t go into the gun discussion too far… but if you have been properly trained to handle it… your choice. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO! I’m not sure if the imagined night fears will ever go away, but I do not plan to let it ruin the remainder of my life. You shouldn’t, either. Granted, my notes are primarily for older people who no longer have small children in the home to watch over and protect. Indeed, that is a different position with special considerations. For those of us who are older and should know better… we are charged with making the nighttime pleasant, rewarding and feeling content with a good night’s sleep. I have become much more enjoying of nights alone… but always remain cautious and aware. Bidding you a gentle goodnight…
I pray as many times as I can for the day and I still can’t sleep. Second, I am not allowed to have sleepovers and it is weekdays so I have school. Also I try to make it bright but my parents are saying that is preventing me from sleeping. The last thing is that I don’t even know why I can’t sleep by myself. I am not scared of anything I just hate it when I am by myself. But the logical part was very useful and I did feel a bit better when I realized, I am not alone.
One more thing I heard that sleeping with a full stomach makes you fall asleep easier.
When nights starts growing I starts fearing of being killed by someone I am very frustrated of this every night I suffer if I alone…