Teens the world over are forced to deal with parents who are seemingly overprotective. The more you try to gain some independence and distance, the closer they pull you in. You understand that they are your parents and they love and care for you, but your parents take it to an extreme. If you feel that your parents enforce rules that are too strict and are not allowing you the distance that you need to grow up into a mature adult, it may be time to try a few new things.
Start with these few tips and hopefully you and your parents can reach a compromise that makes you both happy.
In order to let your parents know how you feel and what you want, you have to talk to them. The mistake that many teens make is choosing to completely shut their parents out. The more you talk to your parents, the more they know, understand, and trust you. Let them know what is going on in your life, invite your friends over, and share things with them. Your parents are more likely to loosen the leash a little bit if they feel that they can trust you to make the right choices.
When trying to compromise with your parents, keep the yelling and fighting to a minimum. Have a civilized conversation and make sure that both of you are allowed to express your needs, concerns, and issues. Listen to their reasons for being overprotective and try to put them at ease. Let them know that you understand that they are looking out for your best interests, but that you need time and space of your own.
Let your parents know that you can clearly see things from their perspective. Tell them that they can trust you because of all that they have taught you. Do not approach them expecting to get exactly what you want. Compromise means give and take. Perhaps they will consent to letting you go out, but want you home hours before the event is over. Accept it; play by the rules and perhaps your privileges will be extended next time.
Regardless of what you may feel at times, your parents are actually right sometimes. There will be instances where you need to be willing to stand back and view things from your parents’ perspective; maybe they really do know best. There are certain things that are going to be a major issue; instead of dwelling on the things that your parents don’t allow you to do, focus on what you are allowed to do. Just because dating may be outlawed at the moment does not mean you can’t go out and have a good time with your friends.
If you don’t understand why your parents aren’t allowing you to do something or go somewhere, consider it from every angle. Try and see things the way that your parents do and maybe clear up any doubts that you feel they may have. If they still say no, you’ll need to respect their decision and find something else to do.
You’ve heard it a million times, but looking back years from now, you will completely understand why your parents made the decision that they did. You will probably also laugh at the fact that something so trivial caused you so much distress.
Attempting to convince your parents that you are an adult while throwing a temper tantrum like a child will definitely not get you very far; if you want to be treated like an adult, then act like one. If you have reached a point where you feel that you need space, freedom, and the ability to make your own decisions, then it’s also time for you to learn that all of those things come with a price. Being an adult is not simply getting to do everything that you want; it’s realizing that you have to do things that you don’t want to as well.
Approach your parents as early as possible if there is something that you want to be allowed to do. Putting them on the spot at the last minute will only anger them and you will likely not get what you want. Mention it to them, ask them to consider it and let you know if they have any questions. Then leave it at that. After a few days, bring it up again and allow them to tell you what they think. Share your own thoughts and opinions, and ask if there is any way that you can compromise. Be calm, mature, and respectful.
Something as simple as this will leave a lasting impression on your parents. Over time, they will start to realize that you truly are becoming an adult. Maturity goes a long way, and overprotective parents often are the way that they are because they feel that you are not yet grown up and mature enough to be trusted. Remember that this also goes for after you have been granted the permission you’ve been wanting. Follow the rules, don’t miss curfew, and thank your parents. Breaking the rules just once can be reason enough for overprotective parents to retract all privileges.
Act like an adult, be responsible, and give your parents every reason to see that you really are growing up and it really is time to start letting go.
This was amazing and it worked
Not for me…
I’m 22 y.o… the things you mentioned above… it won’t work to me… you know?? Every single things that I’ve done it’s mistake… I can’t go another city by my own with no reason… that’s why I really pray I can have my own live and only me without strict rules or talkative mother.
This article doesn't work on parents who have major issues with fear, anxiety and catastrophizing and aren't going for the therapy that they need to be balanced parents.
I have extremely strict and overprotective parents who get mad at every little thing i do, giving me no freedom. I have depression and anxiety and am suicidal. Yet they don’t understand. They get mad at me for self harming and doesn’t f***ing care why i do it. I just want to be a f***ing normal 13 year old, without friends asking ‘why do you not have a phone?’ ‘Why are your parents so strict?’ ‘Why don’t your parents let you hang out with your friends at the shopping mall?’ why this why that. When i say this to my parents they simply demand “so what do you want?” in an off-hand, you’ll-get-what-you-want-fine-then manner. I simply say ‘it would be nice to have a smartphone so i could communicate with people i want to communicate with, such as my friends.” i have whatsapp and my family has a family group chat. They know i have whatsapp and refuse to add me to the f***ing chat, no matter how many times i ask. this is literally just excluding me and i hate it so much, yet i can’t bring myself to say this to my parents as they’ll just get like really f***ing pissed at me for trying to express my f***ing feelings. They are so f***ing moody all the f***ing time and I’m honestly so f***ing done with it.
I am 15 and have intractable epilepsy. My parents are so f*cking overprotective and I cannot take it!!!